claire 🩷🌺🦩🐙

21 💖lesbian 💖she/her 💖 degree haver, don’t try me

[Braxeo @Braxeo]

I do not agree with you

[Barry Bushido @bushidobarry]

@BostonMassUSA Why did dunkin change the $6 meal deal to two wraps instead of a sandwich and hash browns can you fix this boston

[Michael Benjamin @mfbenji]

A 67 year old man from Long Island yelling “get your hotdogsssss” during the ceremony

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

Ok here’s the plan:
—win the lottery for Phoebe Bridgers tickets
—find a ceiling panel or crawlspace in which I can live undetected for four days
—$1 Knicks Finals ticket

[thebolter26 @6b5hcc2grv]

This picture is so old like I’m talking dead ass like before the eras tour

[claire 🩷🌺🦩🐙 @goldestrush]

@ginamilan_ it’s a baseball thing!!! it’s a person on the plate getting ready to hit the ball coming towards them!!! hope this helps

[That Wine Guy 🍷 @thatwineguy68]

Nothing better than a glass of #RedWine...🍷 Except maybe #Men 😄 #Yep #ImGay 🌈

[⊹ ࣪ pam ˖✦ @pamvonhadder]

*uterus sheds its lining and REGENERATES itself every month*
“a human organ that can self-regenerate - hmm… that’s not interesting at all, let’s never study this.”
- the medical community -

[claire 🩷🌺🦩🐙 @goldestrush]

@JoeLongBalls this is dungeon crawler carl coded

[expiredkirspies @beyoncesspamacc]

European roommate of 3+ years just moved out and took all the developed vegan ube ice cream recipes in the middle of a heat wave after not sending me an Uber for our date

[wesley ☆ @Hotx_tea]

Gia reveals herself that she’s Alamo

[Gay Interrupted @TwinkTheory]

Lexi finally breaks and commits a mass shooting at Nate’s funeral and everyone dies

[beck @cardgani]

la sonrisa de alguien que sabe que porfin se acabó su contrato con euphoria

[Chris @citehchris]

the annual chicago concrete beach twitter discourse has arrived marking the official start of summer

[playful peter @w0rldmap]

Finished wordle, crossword, connections, spelling bee, strands and sudoku. Time to go to the liquor store

[Eve @tinglespoon]

okay now imagine this premise but the disturbing consequence is that the fat turns into tiny little marshmallow babies. not so funny now is it?