Boss

Lighten up, I'm just a dog.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Ah... Days as beautiful as these are only made better by taking a big poop in the yard.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Everyone else is asleep, I'm drinking out of the toilet.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" ...and then it hits me.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Its so cold! Major shrinkage going on, I can't find my balls! Come to think of it, I haven't been able to find them for the past 3 years.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Ahhhh, gonna be a good day. Whatever I just rolled in sure does stink.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

I don't know what this jerk thinks is so funny; but I aint eating any rabbit food.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Its a party! http://twitpic.com/377qe8

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

My idea of loading the dishwasher is getting Richard drunk.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Schroeder just referred to the chapel with the ceiling that Michelangelo painted as the "Sixteenth Chapel"

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Laying here under a tree all day let's me get really introspective. For instance, where the hell did my balls go?

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

If anyone's wondering why I'm licking my butt, it's to get the taste of @Action_bastard_ cooking out of my mouth.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Butthole's puckering up. Must be a storm coming.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Gained a lot of weight this summer since they've been leaving me inside all day. They could at least set a live squirrel loose in here w ...

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Alex said she wishes she could understand dogs when they bark. She'd be disappointed if she knew all we're saying is variations of "Hey!"

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

I love it when the guys leave me inside while they're at work. http://twitpic.com/23jlub

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

My eyes are all boogery and I keep sneezing, man I hope I'm not allergic to pet dander.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

I'm 21 in dog years today. I think. Can't seem to find my birth certificate.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

USA got robbed, I'd like to piss on that refs leg.

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Oh, was I not supposed to get up here? http://twitpic.com/1vdcga

[Boss @GoodBoyBoss]

Geez, way to take an incriminating photo! RT @allieeliz Playing with the babies all day! http://tweetphoto.com/25192682