HM Government (Parody)

It just is at this point, isn't it?
Check out the Daily Fail for our daily press-releases.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

We will reduce the number of people.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

We will foreign the NHS.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

We will ease the households on government.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

We will burden houses.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

We will cut patients in half.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

We will half inflation.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

Due to a lack of demand, we will be decommissioning the rail network.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

Wow, even when we do nothing we drop below 20% in the polls...we had better start undoing things!

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

@calvinrobinson Can we have our green screen back?

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

@samatlounge @RishiSunak Do you work in finance?

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

Do you work in business?

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

Defending our skies, even at Christmas!

[Stansaid Airport @StansaidAirport]

Our Air Traffic just spotted an unidentified flying object inbound, so they scrambled the RAF. Blew it out the sky. Well done team, very proud! 🏆

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

@UKDefJournal You're all supposed to be driving ambulances. Get back to work and let Border Force handle this illegal refugee...hang on...no, you're doing that...umm....I'm so confused. I need a break. Merry Christmas and f**k off peasants!

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

@RozWilson7 I'm sure I can rustle up a few hedge funds.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

@SecretHealthan1 No, he fell down the back of the sofa a few days ago. It would take hours to try and fish him out though, because you'd keep confusing him with all of Liz's old toy soldiers...

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

@SecretHealthan1 I know where Rishi is.

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

@SecretHealthan1 Do you want to hear a secret?

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

It has now been discovered by MI5, that @GNev2 eats babies dipped in maple syrup.

This is shocking and deeply disturbing.

The flavours don't go together at all...

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

@SecretHealthan1 Ooh, exciting, would you like me to put it in the Cabinet agenda?

[HM Government (Parody) @GOVUOK]

@john4brexit Nothing wrong at all with this statement. Just a perfectly rational person; voicing perfectly rational views. In a public forum.