"la que ha ganado muchas veces una de exatlón", la mamá de pablo pidiendo un saludo de mati y pascal diciendo "si, todo mundo ama a esa mujer", oh mati siempre serás THE GOAT 🚬
I Shall Rail You
Wednesday discovered the phrase at breakfast.
Yoko had leaned across the table, all fangs and false innocence, and explained it with the gravity of someone delivering classified information. “It means you’ll hit them with a train,” she said. “Very efficient. Very you.”
Wednesday considered this. Then nodded once, got up, and left.
What she failed to notice was the way Yoko looked far too pleased with herself after that.
Instead, she spent the entire day treating I shall rail you like a perfectly reasonable Addams-family threat, delivered in the same flat, unblinking tone she used for everything else.
First it was Ajax. He accidentally stepped on the back of Wednesday’s shoe while lining up for the bus.
Wednesday turned and looked at him with distaste. “Step on me again,��� she threatened, “and I shall rail you.”
Ajax took a step back, face going pale. “I… what? Sorry?”
The confusion on his face made Wednesday frown even harder. “Maybe if you would stop stoning yourself so much, you would be smarter than to test me.” She turned back around and got onto the bus like nothing had happened.
The second threat came after a very tight fencing spar with Bianca.
Bianca was smug at topping the Addams once more. “You know, you’ve been making this too easy for me lately.” She chuckled. “Enid has really worked her magic and softened you up, Addams.”
Wednesday was at her throat in a second, forearm pressed to her neck. “Say that again and I shall rail you until you are left unable to move.”
Bianca’s eyebrows shot up. “Bold.” She smirked. “Flattered, but…not really my thing. Also, I’m sure a certain werewolf would skin me alive if that ever happened.”
Wednesday scowled, letting her go with a rough shove. “Leave Enid out of this.”
She grabbed her things and left Bianca rubbing her neck with a smirk.
By the evening, Wednesday was feeling rather irritated. She had been intimidating people all day, but it lacked the usual satisfaction when they gave her a puzzled or amused look instead of one of fear.
One particular werewolf even asked her when and where as he tried to put his arm around her shoulder. The flip she gave him did make up for it, though…
She was sitting at her desk, trying to work out a detailed disembowelment ritual, when Enid barged in laughing loudly at something Divina had just said.
“Don’t forget to upload the project tonight, E,” Divina said, trying to control her own giggles.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll do it in a bit.” Enid replied. “Night, Div!”
Divina glanced toward a frantically typing Wednesday.
“Night, E.” She winked, making Enid blush.
Enid closed the door and jumped onto her bed with a loud sigh.
Wednesday rolled her eyes and kept typing, completely ignoring her roommate.
Enid pulled out her notebook and laptop to start on her part of the project. She put on her headphones and started humming the song that came on, tapping her pen against her notebook. Shifting every thirty seconds, making the mattress springs complain. Her bracelet jingled as she typed, and then she started whispering lyrics under her breath.
Overstimulated, Wednesday’s fingers stilled on the keys as the singing increased.
Her voice cut through the room, loud enough for Enid to hear.
“Enid. If you do not cease that noise, I shall rail you right here, right now.”
The singing stopped immediately.
Enid ripped her headphones off and sat up in shock. “…Is that a threat or an invitation? Because if it’s an invitation, you could’ve just asked nicely.”
Wednesday turned her head. “Why would you voluntarily offer yourself to be hit by a train?”
Enid frowned. “Hit by a…who told you that?”
Wednesday stood and walked toward the middle of the room. “…Yoko said it meant I would hit people with a train.”
Enid met her halfway. Her mouth opened and closed. Then she made a sound that was half laugh, half wheeze. “Oh my god. She did not.”
“She did,” Wednesday said, crossing her arms.
His Name Is Gary
Enid almost dropped the bag when she reached the porch. A raccoon was sitting dead center in front of the door like it was waiting for her, chubby and unblinking. Enid would’ve thought it was cute if it weren’t for the silver butter knife it was currently twirling around in its small black paw as if deciding whether she was worth the effort.
Enid reached for her phone and quickly typed a message.
Enid: Hi! I’ve got an order for Wednesday. I’m outside!!
Wednesday: On my way.
Enid: Wait.
Enid: There’s a raccoon at your front door staring at me.
Wednesday: His name is Gary. Do not make eye contact.
Enid: Too late…He’s holding a butter knife.
Wednesday: That is new.
The door opened just enough for Wednesday Addams to fill the gap. She looked like she was ready to end her day: black slip and bare feet as she patted the damp ends of her hair with a towel. She looked at Enid, then at Gary. “You are late,” she said.
“Enid. Hi. Sorry, I couldn’t find the address.” Enid said sheepishly. “But I did get you extra spring rolls if that helps!” She looked between Gary and Wednesday, not sure if she could approach, “I didn’t want to just…step over him. He looks like he has a mission.”
Wednesday’s mouth twitched. “Gary. The food is expected. Relinquish the cutlery.”
Gary set the knife down with a tiny, offended clink but didn’t move. He simply continued staring at Enid with curiosity now.
Enid kept her distance and held the bag out.
Wednesday took a step forward and stood next to Gary. She extended her hand and their fingers brushed when she took the bag from Enid.
Thunder cracked directly overhead.
Enid jumped so hard she almost fell backwards. A startled little giggle burst out of her as the sky opened and rain sheeted off the porch roof in a sudden, violent curtain.
“I hate thunder storms,” she said, still laughing at herself, cheeks pink. “Every time. I know it’s coming and I still…”
Wednesday’s gaze had already gone past her, to the little pink car parked at the end of the driveway, which was now looking like a shallow river.
She looked back at Enid. “Do you have any more deliveries?”
Enid shook her head, the wet chilly air making her shirt stick to her body. “Not after this. With this weather I guess I’ll just head home.”
Wednesday considered her for a moment longer than was strictly polite. “Have you had dinner?”
Enid ducked her head, “No. Might grab something on the way home.”
Wednesday tipped her face toward the sky. The rain was only getting harder.
Enid started to shift her weight, getting ready to say goodbye and run to her car. “I really should get…”
“The rain is only going to get worse.” Wednesday cut her off.
Enid frowned in confusion but before she could say anything Gary sneezed from the mat, unimpressed.
“Why not come in,” Wednesday said. “I am sure Gary and I can share what you have brought.”
Enid’s smile was small and shy and a little too bright for the weather. “Really?” she asked, tucking moist hair behind her ear. “I mean…you don’t have to… I don’t want to crash your night with a Gary by imposing.”
Wednesday stepped back from the door giving her space to walk in. “You are already getting wet,” she said. “And Gary has decided you are not an immediate threat, so you are not imposing.”
Enid blushed at the comment and invitation. She looked back at the pouring rain and considered her options. “Yeah, it is getting worse.” She crossed the threshold to the Addams’s home. Gary waddled in after her, leaving the butter knife behind on the porch as a peace offering.
Wednesday closed the door on the storm. “The kitchen is through there,” she said, already walking. “I shall get the plates and cutlery Gary will most likely use to threaten you with. Make yourself at home.”
Enid chuckled, “Well Gary, what’s your favorite spring roll?”
Gary chirped in response as Wednesday walked in with what they needed to enjoy one of many future dinners together…