Gratuitous Greetings

Snarky greeting cards filled with the things you really want to say.

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/CHmrdcPtLA

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

You're on fucking mute, Dave, and no one gives a shit about your Iron Man training.

#gratuitousgreetings #berniesanders #bernie #bernieinaugurationmemes #berniemug #berniegifts #zoom #zoommeeting #zoomhell #youreonmute https://t.co/3SuSteKiWU

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

Give Mom was she really wants for Christmas.
#gratuitousgreetings #quaaludes #motherslittlehelper #funnychristmasgifts #funnymugs #funnyholidays https://t.co/76tjTZTVCz

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

Halloween is over which means means it's Christmas. #gratuitousgreetings #christmas #christmasmug #santamug #funnychristmasgifts #whiteelephant #whiteelephantgift https://t.co/MMwlRWqlnW

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

Because they're fucking crazy if they think we are going back in time. #prochoice #abortionrights #abortionishealthcare #probirthisnotprolife #roevwade #rbg #fuckthepatriarchy https://t.co/YXTzZtub7a

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/JNqbHEChJg

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

I heard TLC on the oldies station last week and one of my ovaries fell off. #birthdaycard #retirement #retirementcard #thinkingofyou #gratuitousgreetings #fishoil #glucosamine #gettingold #femaleentrepreneur https://t.co/wo2jdJodr9

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me

#femaleempowerment #anytimecard #birthdaycards #babyshowercard #breakupcards #breakup #divorce #divorcecard #encouragement #thinkingofyou #getwellsooncard https://t.co/XfBHLglZS6

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/BB2eS3p8Ua

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

Not even a pandemic can stop our biological clocks from ticking. #sendhelp
#covidbride #covidwedding #covidcards #covidbirthday #gratuitousgreetings https://t.co/G4yxfSDNGh

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

Because poop jokes are timeless.

#colonoscopy #colonoscopyprep #gratuitousgreetings #colonoscopycard #thereshouldbeacardforthat #checkyourpooper #remindyourparents https://t.co/Jgvgz2hG9T

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

For all of the stage-5 clingers and pizza purists. #gloriacleary #weddingcrashers #pineapplepizza #gratuitousgreetings #funnycards #meme #pizzameme https://t.co/I86gGJulE8

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

This! @delcotimes @camdencountynj @6abc @NBCPhiladelphia @FOX29philly

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

A classy and understated congratulatory display. #gratuitousgreetings #engagementcards #engaged #proposal #weddingcard #weddingcards #cashbar #snailmail #snailmailrevolution #snailmaillove https://t.co/2AXoJyzf9D

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

My toddler is now aware of poop and is a bit bashful. So instead of the usual morning and afternoon poo at daycare, she saves it all up and takes a colossal shit every night moments after her bath.

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

@BobsBurgersFOX 🙌🏼

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

Dear people who go on cruises,

Is the endless buffet so enticing that you'll risk a Darwin Award for it?

-the rest of us watching you float in that giant petri dish.

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

When they make you sit through a full Catholic mass..
#gratuitousgreetings #greetingcards #weddingcards #bridalshowercard #bridalshower #weddingcard #engagementcards #bridesmaids #groomsmen https://t.co/w92stEuaQZ

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

'Cause if you don't appear to be shitting rainbows when your toddler brings home norovirus the elders will remind you to cherish these moments. https://t.co/nqOGW3dcQ9

[Gratuitous Greetings @GratuitousGreet]

About as warm and fuzzy as we get over here. True story, one time I was singing along in the car and my body was so confused by the howling that I began leaking breast milk. Don't ask me out for… https://t.co/cV2nzno0tZ