Carl

[Carl @GreatFilm]

I'm not Anti-Social. I'm Pro-Doing Shit on my Phone. http://t.co/XAkFaYOY

[Carl @GreatFilm]

Sometimes it's really hard to tell who's winning when you fight sarcasm with sarcasm. http://t.co/LqWhrYbw

[Carl @GreatFilm]

I cut butter with a regular knife and now it won't stop crying like a little bitch. http://t.co/h2A0M46R

[Carl @GreatFilm]

http://t.co/h2A0M46R "Sorry I'm late, but let me explain." -The inventor of the snooze button at the initial presentation

[Carl @GreatFilm]

http://t.co/bJCT1pqo I’ve said it before. Wednesday. Where you’re too far out to see weekend in any direction.

[Carl @GreatFilm]

http://t.co/XAkFaYOY Sometimes it's really hard to tell who's winning when you fight sarcasm with sarcasm.

[Carl @GreatFilm]

"Sorry I'm late, but let me explain." -The inventor of the snooze button at the initial presentation http://t.co/iShWJvon

[Carl @GreatFilm]

http://t.co/n40St7rT I think all crime scenes should be photographed on Instagram.

[Carl @GreatFilm]

CAFFEINE-FREE DIET COKE: BECAUSE YOU LOVE CARAMEL COLOR http://t.co/h2A0M46R

[Carl @GreatFilm]

I hope rapidly clicking this arrow on Google Street View counts as jogging. http://t.co/h2A0M46R

[Carl @GreatFilm]

At this point, every item on drive-thru menus should have "Uhhh..." in front of it. http://t.co/riwCy0uf

[Carl @GreatFilm]

I hope my memory foam mattress doesn't remember the man in my bed last night and tell my boyfriend. http://t.co/n40St7rT

[Carl @GreatFilm]

http://t.co/n40St7rT I'm not Anti-Social. I'm Pro-Doing Shit on my Phone.

[Carl @GreatFilm]

http://t.co/LqWhrYbw I hate little dogs. I can only love dogs that could kill me.

[Carl @GreatFilm]

I'm gonna stab you http://t.co/iShWJvon

[Carl @GreatFilm]

I'm sad because I don't have an Xbox. Someone console me http://t.co/crEAG5cY

[Carl @GreatFilm]

Account in http://t.co/7KA8GkgM

[Carl @GreatFilm]

Longer and straightened erection http://t.co/3RtdYooM

[Carl @GreatFilm]

Unique sophistication http://t.co/3RtivYpG

[Carl @GreatFilm]

Natural products shop http://t.co/46Jc4kJB