Kayla Green

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

Does anyone here know my Apple ID password? Figured I’d check before I reset it for the billionth time.

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

I hit the snooze button because I’m an Aquarius, and nobody’s the boss of me. Including the me who set the alarm the night before.

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

I’ve decided that I’m ready for the mo’ problems that mo’ money can bring.

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

If I’m ovulating and I’m still not attracted to you, I’m not the problem.

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

I think my most toxic trait is that if I lived 100+ years ago, I’d be stoked to marry one of my cousins.

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

When are guys going to stop being mad about paying for dates? I promise I’m not trying to scam you for a dry piece of tilapia at your “favorite spot.”

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

Things that are essential for hetero romance: curtains.

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

When you’re anticipating a date turning into a slumber party do you ever swap out your luxury sheets with your generic set? Like, “these Brooklinens were purchased with only my pleasure in my mind.” Or are you normal?

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

I think it’s high time we ask men to put their bare ankles away. Leave something to the imagination hunny.

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

I think you’ve reached womanhood when you start to slather your hands and feet in lotion before bed.

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

@meelonmuskusa 5

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

My libido has exponentially increased ever since I started regularly objectifying men.

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

I entered the Merrily We Roll Along Lottery for $39 tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: https://t.co/ZFY97albkY

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

I entered the Merrily We Roll Along Lottery for $39 tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: https://t.co/ZFY97albkY

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

@namssorge Isn’t this every week for you?

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

If you “didn’t get” Barbie, I don’t get paid enough to help you.
#BarbieMovie

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

I entered the free Shakespeare in the Park Lottery for a chance to win free tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: https://t.co/CXG7rBDaoc

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

@daxshepard I just had my first “Emily Burger” for my birthday after living in the neighborhood with them for over 5 years. Thank you to @ArmchairExpPod and Monica! Best burger of my life! #michigander #armcherry #bklover

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

I entered the #FridayFortyNYC for @CursedChildNYC on @TodayTix! Get tickets for performances next week at $40 #CursedChildNYC https://t.co/pQQYppxWLr

[Kayla Green @GreenKayla68]

To my #1 podcast of 2021, @armchairexppod: thank you for keeping me company on @Spotify all year long! #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/AeoVIGO7fk