Greg

here, now.

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

Ironing boards are surfboards that abandoned their dreams and found a real job.

[Nic ⭐️ @nchls_b]

If I was a horse and you led me to water I’d also wonder why did you bring me here?? Now I must perform for you whole time I’m not even thirsty, I’m not your puppet I drank water at home before you brought me here without asking

[Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHarmers]

First they came for me. Like, right away. I tried saying "Don't you have some trade unionists or gypsies or something to deal with?", I tried giving them names, but they weren't interested.

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

Never forget that YOU are a data center. Drink some water!!

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

disregard | verb | to pay no attention to : treat as unworthy of regard or notice

[ًً @stoyatel]

in your twenties you're going to experience a sudden shift in your parents behavior to be more kind and supportive towards you that for some unknown reason couldn't have come earlier despite their past behavior contributing to your deeply troubling mental issues they disregarded

[KenFarmer ⒶⓋ @KenFarmerTV]

The real gender divide isn’t men vs women anymore. It’s people who think men are human beings versus people who think men are infrastructure.

[fatmogging @ charliscores @PUBERTY_3]

porn is important because every crusade against porn is secretly a crusade against every “perverse” thing which inevitably will encompass gays and trans ppl. btw. just in case u didn’t see the fascist writing on the wall

[Harlo Pippenger 🥕🛠🎀 @PippengerHarlo]

you say you’re “from the hood” yet we found your family’s tomb complex containing complex engraved goods, emblazoned pottery, bronze figurines depicting local deities, and luxury trade goods indicating a more far-reaching trade network than archaeologists had anticipated 💀

[RednBlackSalamander @9mmballpoint]

This is 100% true. The core of American psychology is the cognitive dissonance between heroism and individualism: we want to fight bad guys, but only in a way where no one can mistake us for an altruistic empathycuck who goes out of his way to help strangers.

[Benson Goone @Neil_McNeil]

This happened to my good friend Wanda Maximoff

[h @jamtoastaurchai]

People pleasing elephant: I can leave the room if you want it’s no problem for me

[Christina Von Boleyn @saintbvnny]

the french be like i got four twenty ten nine problems

[Brando @SomewanElse_]

People in the replies are saying superheroes or police procedurals and they're all wrong. American slop is "guy who wants a peaceful life but has to go on the most justified killing spree ever because they threatened his family"

[Ema @SmasherIsEma]

AN IQ TOO HIGH????

[Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer]

I’m developing a game where you have to go back to assassinate Adam. It’s a first person shooter.

[Nornal Guy 🧙‍♂️ @theralkia]

The average person is wholly unconscious of the depths of evil inside of them. Before that realization, morality is simply naivety, conditioning, and identification with a persona.

[constantine @ralikeray]

The narrative that you’re not supposed to care about people’s perceptions of you is not based in reality. To be in community you literally have to address how you’re being perceived because how you are perceived directly effects how you’re treated

[Emma Steuer 🧚🤖 @emmysteuer]

You only live once, so make sure to spend as much time as possible on your computer. You won’t have access to it when you die