Hi! I'm Zack!

I live in a multimillion dollar treehouse with Rally Monkey in Mike Trout's backyard. Ryan Braun is my mortal enemy. This is not the real Zack Greinke.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Braun thinks he is an artist? Please, my mother still has my 2nd grade drawings on her fridge. I'm the artist.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Just gave Clayton a ride to his house...I didn't get any gas money. None. Must be nice to upper class like that.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Wow...ok, great contract Clayton. Proud of you, really I am. Just going over to our rotary phone and calling my agent. 216?

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Hope we get Tanaka. I've always made great friends with the Japanese...must be my amazing karate abilities.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

MLB Network just showed me putting the beat down on Carlos. Rally Monkey just told me not to lead with my shoulder next time.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

I'll be in the treehouse all day. Rally Monkey and I are putting in a new door bell that uses NSYNC greatest hits instead of that bell noise

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Made a solid tuna salad today but Rally Monkey burnt the toast. I don't know...I just can't stay mad at the little guy.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Rally monkey has a mustard stain on the shirt I just bought him. He'll be getting the cold shoulder from me tonight.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Spilt my orange Julius at the mall today. I stopped crying after the nice policeman bought me an ice cream cone. All is well again.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

I know mother said no dating, but that girl from the New Girl is kind of cute. TeheTeHeTeHeTeHe

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Need to get some sleep, rally monkey and I have a tic-tac-toe tournament tomorrow.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Cardinals remind me of the NL Central, which reminds me of the Brewers, which reminds me of Ryan Braun. I hate the Cardinals now.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

IHOP for lunch! BOOM!

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

No way I could ever play for the Red Sox...because I can't grow facial hair. Could try to gluing rally monkeys fit on my face.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

All I see in Mike Napoli's beard is germs. Blah, I need a bath...where is rubber ducky and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bubble bath?

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

I farted and now I have a bad headache. I thinks it's cancer.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Had so many sunflower seeds today my lips are chapped. But the act of putting on Chapstick reminds me when mother caught me w/ her lipstick.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Ok...I may have a bigger man crush on Puig than I did on Trout. Mike Tout still has a better smile though.

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

I have a tummy ache. Too much taffy I think. Ugh...

[Hi! I'm Zack! @GreinkeLogic]

Got hammered on those virgin screwdrivers last night celebrating win number 100. Treehouse is a mess and rally monkey is making some soup.