Grinde

[Grinde @Grinde]

Just blew my nose so hard that it got down on one knee & proposed. http://t.co/fDprOAta0Z

[Grinde @Grinde]

Girls named Miranda never think it's funny when you tell them they have the right to remain silent. http://t.co/AoBYTpL0MX

[Grinde @Grinde]

http://t.co/k3Tmvq97sN Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

[Grinde @Grinde]

Is there anything sexier than a woman who reads? Yes: Models. http://t.co/grm34Ta2LI

[Grinde @Grinde]

http://t.co/y4b7aIuhPl Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[Grinde @Grinde]

http://t.co/So92cWuaux Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

[Grinde @Grinde]

http://t.co/YCBqHXHnjx Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass.

[Grinde @Grinde]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/nu1ScLKRx0

[Grinde @Grinde]

http://t.co/NZ4WWoAT I'd write a book on parenting but it'd probably just end up being full of cocktail recipes.

[Grinde @Grinde]

When I was a kid, I thought Reader's Digest recommended the best books to eat http://t.co/dUTHEkyF

[Grinde @Grinde]

Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine. http://t.co/lNBFuzbY

[Grinde @Grinde]

http://t.co/f8jR97RX "Let's get ready to bumble!!!" - Bees