Grant Weiler

Follow me so I can enjoy not following you back. Snapchatterrr: grantweilerrr instagram: callmeinstagrant

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

You ever sneeze so hard that your eyes actually popped out of your head and now you're blind forever? Me too

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

Wow never mind. I thought after he said that she’d cheated on him twice already and that he’d never marry her, that it was the end. Nope. They’re buddy buddy again. Tf is wrong with people

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

There’s a couple breaking up next to me at the gym rn. I turned off my music and am pretending to give a crap about my workout but I’m too absorbed with them now

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

Here we go

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

@StueyMcBrews y’all open Christmas Eve?

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

I just got KFC for the first time. That’s what’s happening in my life, what’s up with y’all?

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

Pizza:

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

What the hell is this, Siri?

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

@Chris_Brezzzy Thanks man I thought it was good

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

Jesus Christ? The guy that turns wine into water and heals leopards? No thanks, think I’ll worship the father-killing, sister-marrying, shapeshifting-into-different-animals-then-fucking-them Zeus, thank you very much

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

Bored? Unsatisfied with the 4th? Feeling unfulfilled from your stupid life choices that lead you to this point? Come to drake buskers house!

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

@ThomasHalliday1 It’s an insightful question, I’m curious

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

Would you rather be born blind, or have sight at birth and lose it later in life?

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

I witnessed something pretty amazing at work today. Two women who didn’t know each other bonded over a tattoo one of them had of the autism awareness puzzle piece logo, then exchanged numbers so they could set up a playdate between their autistic children. Very wholesome to see

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Never be afraid of failure. After all, everyone’s expecting you to fail anyway, what with you being such a loser.

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

@BrewLabKC hey, y’all have a beer called Variable Voltage I had at a beer tasting about a year ago and I know it was available at a restaurant that had great steak... could you tell me what places have that on tap for me? I’m craving the steak and beer hella hard

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

I set a cucumber on fire to make this stupid joke fuck y’all

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

Someone: Hey man haven’t seen you in a while, how have things been?
Me: Ay you know me, been cool as a cucumber
The cucumber I’m referencing:

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

You deserve the best. All my family and friends

[Grant Weiler @Grraannt]

@Pat_YAH_Trick The hound and grey worm vs the mountain, who’s gonna get the kill