Rusty Gunter

[weasel @WeaselHandyMan]

thanks to @3YearLetterman for hosting the 4th of july usa 250 birthday #bash. i dockumented the funn with my panelsonic camcorder. we are the oldest & greatest & drunkest nation on earth, literally the only ones with july 4 on our calanders. nato and warmsaw packs are in shambles

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@GsuGrinding @pop_tartlet Happy Birthday!

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

CHAPTER 11: Dale Gives a Deposition

If you read Determined Look, my first book, many of you already know this story. But in the summer of 2015, as we were preparing for the season, Dale had to give a deposition.

It was a simple slip and fall that he witnessed at the mall the prior August. He was coming out of watching Transformers 4 for the fourth time (to catch anything he “might have missed” during the first three viewings). The person who fell sued the mall for failing to clean up spilled nacho cheese that caused her to slip. I guess she pulled a muscle or sustained some other meaningless injury that wouldn’t warrant sitting out a play on my youth football team, let alone merit a lawsuit. But I digress.

Although the mall’s incident report listed him as an eyewitness, Dale had been drinking a handle of bottom-shelf whiskey throughout the movie and was absolutely hammered when the fall happened. He eventually blacked out that night and had no memory of what transpired. For most people that wouldn't be a problem.

But for him, being intoxicated violated the terms of his probation for his arrest for disorderly conduct and public urination after the 2013 Georgia-Auburn game. A violation could therefore result in a multi-month stay in the county lock-up. Needless to say, I was concerned.

After appearing in court and unsuccessfully demanding that the presiding judge “squash” the subpoena, Dale agreed to appear at the plaintiff’s attorney’s office for the deposition.

The deposition immediately got off to a rocky start when Dale refused to answer a preliminary question about his current residential address. The correct answer was “none” (another probation violation) because he and Brandy were on a break at the time and he’d been kicked out of her apartment, but he refused to answer due to “identity theft” concerns. The attorneys also had to get the judge on the phone to instruct Dale to stop making evidentiary objections and to stop saying “off the record” before he would start answering a question. Dale had prepared for the deposition by watching several episodes of the television show Suits. This was before the paralegal became British royalty; otherwise, he’d have boycotted.

Eventually, the plaintiff’s attorney asked one too many questions, and Dale just lost it and went after him. The other attorney, the court reporter, and a member of the janitorial staff had to restrain Dale from attacking the plaintiff’s attorney. The deposition was terminated. Building security was called, and they forcibly escorted Dale out of the building.

The good news was that the attorneys for both sides were so shaken up over the whole incident that they decided not to reconvene Dale’s deposition or call him as a trial witness. And, the deposition ended before Dale had to answer any questions that would have required him to divulge that he was absolutely obliterated at the time of the slip and fall. So he was able to come out of the whole ordeal unscathed.

Here's an excerpt from the transcript:

Attorney: And where do you currently work?

Mr. Chosewood: Objection. Calls for hearsay and violates the best evidence rule.

Attorney: Sir, that is not a valid objection, and even if it were, this is just a deposition, so you still have to answer the question.

Mr. Chosewood: Off the record.

Attorney: We’ve been over this several times. You can’t just say “off the record” whenever I ask a question to avoid answering the question. I'll ask the court reporter to repeat the pending question. You need to answer it on the record.

[Question read back]

Mr. Chosewood: Objection, calls for speculation.

Attorney: This needs to stop. Please answer the question on the record.

Mr. Chosewood: Off the record.

Attorney: Alright, I’ve had enough of this. Let’s get the judge on the phone again.

Mr. Chosewood: Go right ahead. If you think I’m scared of the federal government, think again.

Attorney: Sir, please return to your side of the table.

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@LadyVoldemort09 @GsuGrinding Pretty sure I know who you're talking about. Great guy.

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@KingSpartacus04 @_LaJanee_ Perhaps

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@KingSpartacus04 @_LaJanee_ Lots of great criminal defense lawyers represent these indigent clients, both public defenders and private attorneys. Know what you’re talking about before you run your mouth.

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@OctaviusA8486 @elonmusk January 6th much???

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@GsuGrinding I've only had a handful die while I represented them over the last 25 years (oddly, just a couple of overdoses). The strangest one was when one client murdered another client during a fight.

[Grits n Football @goodbreffis]

I would ask if any of y’all would try and fix her but I see nothing wrong here.

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@DarrellRoot @senatorshoshana I was a runner for an accounting firm in college. They had a huge party that night. Even sprang for taxis to drive everyone (including me).

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@NoLongerBennett Schulman is representing the State?

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@writeclimbrun We have a few of those guys in Lubbock, but everyone knows the real "oilmen" are from Midland.

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@McFaul 💰 💰 💰

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@BrawndoLabs @AshleyMKemper I was curious about that as well. Maybe a super-secret platypus molester signal. 🤷‍♂️

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@AshleyMKemper

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@AshleyMKemper

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@AshleyMKemper

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@Ami_Marisol @damintoell @AshleyMKemper You may be entitled to compensation. Call 1-800-Some dude that made better career decisions than me

[Rusty Gunter @GunterRusty]

@tpar141 @tdpr66229 @leannemedina16 @JoJoFromJerz an not a