barney

The most awesome, high-fiving, suit-wearing bro you will ever find. || americans rule, canadians drool || {RP} #NotSwarley #SuitUpTed

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

Can we rename this TTMS?

The Ted Mosby Syndrome.

[molly 🇵🇸 @mollandra]

my parents' wedding videographer intercut a clip from kermit and miss piggy's wedding into their service?? without asking???

[ro⁷ saw enhypen ! @sopemimir]

No shit Dan, really? I didn’t notice…

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

@IronicOncology “I have many,” checks hand, “oncology experiences.

My father was oncologist.
My mother was oncologist.
I am oncologist.”

Barney, s t o p.

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

He's walking up to @IronicOncology.

“Excuse me, are you,” checks writing on the inside of his palm, “the oncologist?”

[N͓̽i͓̽n͓̽a͓̽🦋 @Nina_Bakaheart]

What God Are You?
January - God of War
Feb - God of Nothing
March - God of Love
April - God of Fools
May - God of Happiness
June - God of Anime
July - God of Greatness
Aug - God of Sex
Sept - God of Gays
Oct - God of Lesbians
Nov - God of Lusts
December - God of Perverts

[Log In 🦕 @LogisticalPal]

If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you are a chicken tender.

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

|| Can I get Barney active again??

[𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 @AstrayIncendiar]

→ 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫
› Bɪsᴇxᴜᴀʟ
› ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴀɪɴs.
› Cʀᴏssᴏᴠᴇʀs Wᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇᴅ
› Cαɴoɴ | Aυ
» #Luminous «

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

“Oh, just wear a suit!” https://t.co/hcpssyEaij

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

“I don't really f e e l like it right now.”

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

“I wasn't lying! It's really in there!”

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

@MushyArchitect [ G A S P ]

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

@MushyArchitect Haha. 'Enjoy'.

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

“Ah, what a shame, I can't remember where it is.”

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

@MushyArchitect By all means, live your boring, ordinary life.

[barney @HaaaveYouMetTed]

“Actually, the Bro Code states that, if one friend wears a suit, the other one has to qs well.”

This is a lie.
He just made it up.