Pat Hahn

[Lissa♥️♥️ @lizzkelly7]

For six months, she packed her husband lunch every morning. Same routine. Same thermos. Same goodbye kiss at 7:30 a.m.
Then one day, she forgot his phone at home.
A call came in at 10:14 a.m. “Hi, this is the school office… your son didn’t show up again today.”
She froze.
Her husband didn’t have a job in an office. He never did.
He always said he hated social media. “No one needs to know my life,” he’d joke.
Then he passed away.
At the funeral, a stranger showed up crying harder than anyone else. She whispered, “I’m sorry… who are you?”
The woman looked up.
“I thought I was his wife.”...

[Lissa♥️♥️ @lizzkelly7]

I met a guy who seemed great online, but the moment he picked me up, things went weird. He was driving a beat-up 2008 sedan that smelled like old French fries, which was fine, but he spent the whole drive complaining about the price of gas.
He took me to a high-end luxury car dealership for our date. Not to buy- just to "look around." I was already checked out.
While we were walking the showroom, a salesman in a sharp suit approached us. My date immediately started acting incredibly obnoxious. He was touching the custom leather, slamming the doors of a $120,000 SUV, and loudly asking dumb questions like, "Does this come with a tape deck?"
The salesman was visibly annoyed, treating us like absolute garbage, condescending to both of us, and eventually told us, "Maybe you'd be more comfortable at the used lot down the street."
I was mortified and ready to vanish into thin air.
Just then, an older man in a bespoke suit walked out of the back office. The rude salesman smirked, assuming my date was about to get kicked out by the general manager.
Instead, the manager walked straight to my date, handed him a clipboard, and said, "We’re done here, sir. Whenever you're ready."
My date dropped the goofy act completely. His posture changed, his voice went deep and authoritative, and he looked at the terrified salesman.
"Your customer service rating is a zero. You judged us by our clothes, insulted a guest, and violated three corporate compliance policies in ten minutes.".....

[Nicki 🫧🪷 @nickimoraa]

My husband left me at 58 because he said he wanted "one last adventure."
Apparently that adventure was a 29-year-old yoga instructor named Crystal.
After thirty-four years together, I expected tears, drama, maybe a midlife crisis sports car.
Instead, I got a text three weeks later asking where we kept the measuring cups.
Not because he missed me.
Because Crystal had never cooked anything that didn't come with a delivery driver.
For the first few months he acted like he'd escaped prison.
Every Facebook post was a selfie from a winery, a concert, or a rooftop bar.
Meanwhile I spent my time doing things I'd put off for decades. I joined a book club. Got a dog. Painted the living room a color he'd always called "ridiculous."
Turns out "ridiculous" looked amazing...

[Noora🌷 @Amma__tuuh]

My fiancé took a DNA test before our wedding… and canceled everything 3 days later.🧵

We were 2 months away from getting married.

Everything was perfect.

Then his sister bought the whole family DNA kits as a “fun bonding thing.”

Big mistake😭💔😭

At first, everyone was excited.

Posting percentages.
Laughing about random ancestry results.

Then my fiancé stopped answering my calls.

For almost an entire day.

When he finally came home, he looked physically sick.

[Patricia 🇺🇸 @1109Patricia]

There will be
signs . . . 😂🤣😂

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

https://t.co/llDPgFoPTc

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Massive

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@StephaniesDish @bullshornmpls @RedRabbitMN @redcow_mn Bullshorn rocks!

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@mytalkcolleen I’m getting the same message

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@CrimeWatchMpls @MplsWard4 You are an idiot.

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@lisabendermpls Clearly not the city council.

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@mytalkcolleen Thanks for the best laugh of day! 😂

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@jdhovland @bullshornmpls Bullshorn is the best!

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@andrewzimmern @kona_disc @InnovaDiscs @DiscGolfProTour @DiscGolfNetwork People were playing Disc Golf at Minnehaha Falls today.

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@MarcTwinCities @MN_CRIME They just went in for a domestic.

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@NokomisLife #NokomisLife the people who smile and say hi when I’m out walking.

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@CrimeWatchMpls Lord help us.

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@ErinMayeQuade So glad he knows what I was thinking. I would never have known if he hadn’t told me.

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@CrimeWatchMpls Can we track these judges and somehow get rid of them? Are there any good judges?

[Pat Hahn @HahnPat]

@KarinHousley GO AWAY