riane

smut, mullet, and indoor plant enthusiast. queer-ish, open-ish, poly-ish.

[riane @Haleycomet]

I’m young, dumb, and absolutely filled to the brim with cum.

[riane @Haleycomet]

Are bagels the new “it” food? Because my cold lil east coast transplant ass is weeping with joy if so.

[riane @Haleycomet]

The chaotic energy I’m bringing to the table today includes: sneaking into conservative meme Facebook groups and reporting the appropriate posts for hate speech

[riane @Haleycomet]

If we have ever shared a bong, just know that there is a 97% chance that I accidentally drooled into it while taking a hit.

[riane @Haleycomet]

When are we going to talk about dieting in front of children? Because I can pinpoint every pivotal moment in my ed history and it all links back to watching my mom diet as a little kid.

[riane @Haleycomet]

My new kink is being mean to m*n in Magic the Gathering Facebook groups. It’s not MY fault I’m a better player than you 🤷🏻‍♀️

[riane @Haleycomet]

Pro tip: if your significant other is weirdly ADAMANT that you get your nails done, just do it. I’m a nail tech and I can’t count how many engagements I’ve had to secretly be a part of planning.

[riane @Haleycomet]

I’m going through the seven stages of grief and I think I’m at the horny one now.

[riane @Haleycomet]

Because it would be SUPER fucking cool if you didn’t blatantly strand your customers in countries they aren’t from.

[riane @Haleycomet]

Hey @Lufthansa_USA is there a reason my return flight has been cancelled twice and not a single god damn representative will do anything about it? Is there a reason I’m wasting more money and time on hold because of you?

[riane @Haleycomet]

Are you a doc marten queer or a birkenstock queer?

[riane @Haleycomet]

If you don’t have a well established game night with other couple friends by the time you’re 30, have you even lived?

[riane @Haleycomet]

I can’t believe I’m supposed to take care of myself. I can’t handle that responsibility.

[riane @Haleycomet]

Could Guy Fieri’s stylist drop his toner formula? Thanks.

[Vagina Museum @vagina_museum]

On this day in 1963, the Equal Pay Act was signed into law in the USA. Today, a white woman earns 82% of a white man's hourly earnings; a Black woman 65%; and a Latina woman 58%.

[riane @Haleycomet]

Do other Americans simply not KNOW this country is the laughing stock of the world?

[riane @Haleycomet]

“Did you cum?”
PSA: if you have to ask, the answer is always no.

[riane @Haleycomet]

How pathetic would it be to choke to death on pasta? What a fuckin obituary.

[riane @Haleycomet]

thinking about how I won’t get to hear Montero being bumped at Lowpone this summer and I just 😭

[riane @Haleycomet]

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from living in inner city areas most of my life, it’s that if you don’t have the weird window dancing neighbor, you likely ARE the weird window dancing neighbor.