half lass

HalfLassing my way through life.

[half lass @HalfLass]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/l4lCBw1NDL

[half lass @HalfLass]

If one bears a strong resemblance to an evil overlord, it is advisable to tone down one’s facial redness, refrain from taunting chides and hyperbole so as to avoid appearing as cliched, desperate, small-minded, bullying comic book villainous dictator.

[half lass @HalfLass]

If one bears a strong resemblance to Uncle Sam it is advisable to avoid breaking the third wall, pointing at viewers and overusing the words “you” and “vote” so as to avoid appearing as cliched, old fashioned, rhetorical & patronizing as an Uncle Sam “I Want You to Vote” poster.

[half lass @HalfLass]

I knew there would be a wait. They open at 7:30. I arrived at 6:00 AM. Line was already wrapped around the front of the building. I preregistered online, which I’m told will help once it get inside the facility and… https://t.co/OzbS6nyfZB

[half lass @HalfLass]

Okay, sh!t’s getting real, now. 7-11 has paused the use of the chili and cheese dispenser. #covid19 #pandemic #711 #ohthehumanity https://t.co/ViBkq65h6n

[half lass @HalfLass]

Can we all please agree to use the more alliterate “homicidal hornets”?
A) It sounds better,
B) It’s a great band name
#homicidalhornets #MurderHornets

[Dalai Lama @DalaiLama]

Time is always moving on; nothing can stop it. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it to shape the future. Stress on ‘us’ and ‘them’ is a source of conflict. We neglect basic human qualities of kindness and compassion. Let’s work together to create a happier future.

[half lass @HalfLass]

Yadda yadda yadda I woke up at the LAX Courtyard during the pandemic.

[half lass @HalfLass]

Watching cat videos can help Independent theaters closed and at financial risk during Covid: https://t.co/4mfCmugYFW #covid #catvideos #independenttheater

[half lass @HalfLass]

Walgreens Introduces New Dumbass-Only Shopping Hours For Dipshits Who Don’t Know How To Stay 6 Feet Away https://t.co/ueTIj3JLVz

[Detroit Tigers @tigers]

Always in our hearts.

#RIPMrTiger

[half lass @HalfLass]

...and then #AlKaline died. Mr. Tiger, No. 6, a legend, an inspiration and a genuinely nice guy, a class act. This is not the news we needed right now. Condolences to the Kaline family. I’m one sad Tiger right now. #DetroitTigers #Detroit

[half lass @HalfLass]

Friend: "I'm going out to fill up the gas tank in case sh!t gets weird."
Me: "People are hoarding toilet paper and ripping up sheets to make protective face masks. Pretty sure sh!t is already weird."
#COVID #coronavirus #pandemic #weird

[half lass @HalfLass]

Oh, you know, just a regular Saturday morning fashioning old concert t-shirts and rubber bands into face masks.
I can't wait to make a grocery run proclaiming Flaming Lips over my actual lips. (and nose and chin...)

#COVID19 #coronavirus #facemask

[half lass @HalfLass]

This is why we can’t have nice things. Thanks to the irresponsible people of #Chicago who crowded the Lakefront without socially distancing the rest of us who’ve been cautious lost access to fresh air breaks on the Lake. #covid_19 #lakefrontclosed
https://t.co/6QXoouhZpK

[half lass @HalfLass]

Could not resist. I know, it’s too obvious, too easy, but I had to do it. Initially I thought the photo from @fire1023 was a meme, didn’t think they’d release a photo like “that.” Then, when I found out it’s legit I… https://t.co/eqQqRS1okW

[half lass @HalfLass]

Won’t it be fantastic if rest of the Covid-19 pandemic amounts to nothing more than a lot of humorous memes, long playlists and conspiracy theories? #COVIDー19 #selfquarantine #StayAtHome #SocialDistancing

[half lass @HalfLass]

Here's a fun playlist for days of isolation: Socially Distant https://t.co/MqPFEFrruB #NowPlaying Suggestions?

[Chicago Alerts @chicagoalerts]

NotifyChicago: Navy Pier will close to public Mon March 16-Thurs April 2 to stagnate the local spread of COVID-19. See https://t.co/9RBjxTMiFX.

[Cookie Monster @MeCookieMonster]

Today me will live in the moment, unless it’s unpleasant in which case me will eat a cookie.