AUSTIN HAMILL

All my tweets are caffeine induced

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

Mentally preparing to spend recklessly under the guise of retail therapy

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

@PardonMyTake Every single pick is running the ball down the middle. Where is the creativity?

[Jeff Passan @JeffPassan]

@GoonersDream @MarinoMLB stop gooning and learn ball

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

@AclSpeculation Are they out? 😱

[David Grossman @davidgross_man]

Me: So the demons that only I can see, they're real? And I'm the only one who can stop them, with my special psychic powers?

Blake Snell: That's absolutely right. Keep going, you're onto something huge here. Your psychic powers are the key!

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

This guy won’t shut up about Iron Maiden and doesn’t even know they’re playing in his small town on Friday?

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

The Texans OC next year HAS TO BE a former head coach

[Curtis Wenis @CurtisWenis]

would hate to be a winged creature flying into this room

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

“Let me get this straight, you got your asses kicked by four fully mature mutant ninja turtles?”

“No, sir, it’s actually worse than that.”

[Houston Astros @astros]

Crowd silencer. Noise maker. 🤫

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

@Iittlstrawberry I can’t stop thinking about the lonely Italian calling the government mental health line because he’s “self mad” and doesn’t quite understand what depression is

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

Every Beatles story goes like “everyone hated the song and nobody thought it would make the album and they ended up using a version recorded on a tape recorder because they didn’t want to put the production effort into such a subpar track and that song was Hey Jude”

[𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔱 @fangsxbangs]

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON!!

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

@thebiggestyee But you CAN get onto an airplane up to a year after your ID expires… ok

[MLB @MLB]

Chas McCormick with the PLAY OF THE #POSTSEASON! #WorldSeries

[Vala @TheRealValaBall]

@NotWeeklyPod @HAM_ILL

The road to the 08 Redeem Team was a long & arduous one. Hyped for Netflix's Doc? Revisit events that led to what I still think is the best USA Men's Olympic Basketball team ever... this one gets heated.

https://t.co/cDmmnJ6HuQ

https://t.co/h5a67qEjqA

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

Why would you say this?!

[Michael Schwab @michaelschwab13]

What's the biggest difference between this year's playoffs and last year's?

The Astros will have Justin Verlander AND Lance McCullers Jr

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

@Yelix Klay: “Boston fans were cursing in front of small children all night. Real Classy. Good job Boston”

Draymond, 5 minutes later while sitting next to a toddler: “I played like shit”

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

@ablack82 I just think it’s funny how…

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

I’m constantly trying to figure out if my parents are upset with me or if they just don’t understand how passive aggressive an “Ok” text truly is

[AUSTIN HAMILL @HAM_ILL]

@ablack82 Cool.