Betty J Smithsonian

Freelance clown.

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

Pinned for life

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

Trump getting indicted for paying off a porn star is like Hitler getting indicted for plagiarism.

Did someone already say this? Am I Hitler in this analogy?

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

Awful Wrestling https://t.co/1LvMJI33Xy

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

Studio 700 Comedy https://t.co/iVts6SKMqm

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

There is someone you know who is 🦇 💩crazy, extremely emphatically crazy pants and not everyone knows.

Just wait.
They went crazy on you. They will crazy again.
Crazy can't hold in crazy for long.

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@jpegjoshua Maybe not? Actually 100 percent not what you said at all. Literally. Hundreds on claims and you spot to 2 people. So like edit ur tweet or delete it

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@myqkaplan Need context Myq. Airlines? Alkalines? Alison!!!??

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

Me and two lesbos mansplained gay sex to two straight dudes that were acting homoerotic.

- me telling my wife about my set last night.

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

We r way too obsessed with presidents.

Everyone be cool.

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@Naim__Ali He's a child. Someone's baby. Ugh. What's up w this level of violence out here, 💔

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@garysharpcomedy The weight loss is nice.

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

You don't lock the public bathroom door.

I open the door.

I'm not saying sorry.

B*tch you gotta say sorry to me!!

I didn't have to see all that.

Also wash your hands.

[Eliot Shorr-Parks @EliotShorrParks]

Nick Sirianni’s best quality is he isn’t afraid to be himself

From his introductory press conference, to the flower analogy, to the celebrations on the sideline, Sirianni is always just himself and shows his emotions.

It’s why he is in the Super Bowl

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@Eagles On stage in front of a few hundred at Punch Line with TJ Miller we we're getting hype

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@jamieamalea Almost .... what?

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@BlakeWexler LFG

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@BarstoolPhilly 4

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@Naim__Ali Fact: they are mostly men

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

@Naim__Ali Jew know I wouldn't lie about pork, Naim

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

The host introduced me a Philly comic.

Then he mispronounced my name.

Then there was an eagles fan in the audience.

🦅❤️

[Betty J Smithsonian @Handstandstore]

About to do a stand up set in Dallas.
I will not mention the eagles.
I will not mention the eagles.
I will not mention the eagles.
I will not mention the eagles.

#gobirds