H.

INRI | always on | 🏴‍☠️| building: mako, contrabxnd, jock

founder of CottonMouth: Agentic Observability

[H. @hankCmoody]

i thought checks were cool before Christie's just saying

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: NYC Mayor Mamdani reveals ID will be required at city-owned grocery stores to prevent non-residents from accessing discounted food.

[River @River]

How many times can you lift a ceiling before it stops being a ceiling?

[Elizabeth Warren @SenWarren]

Donald Trump is right about this:

Eliminate the debt limit—its only real function is to threaten an economic crisis.

I'm ready to work with both Democratic and Republican Senators to immediately scrap the debt ceiling and protect the economy.

[H. @hankCmoody]

@natbrunell @nico_lechuga @orangejuice_btc @JeffBooth @LynAldenContact why is everyone doing podcasts from
the same location?

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

About 75,000 noncitizens are summoned for jury duty in New Jersey each year, according to the New Jersey judiciary.

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: New York City publishes searchable spreadsheet listing properties & owners that could be subject to its new pied-à-terre tax, sparking privacy concerns.

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: Brazil becomes the first country to tokenize cows for financing, allowing farmers to borrow against livestock.

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

There are currently over 107 million illegal immigrants living in the United States, per former Border Patrol Chief Gregory Bovino.

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

BREAKING: New Jersey Governor reveals a software error registered roughly 6,600 noncitizens to vote.

[H. @hankCmoody]

wait, i thought they froze the rent?

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: Manhattan median rent has surged to a record $5,295 per month, while Brooklyn hits $4,350.

[H. @hankCmoody]

@corygabrielsen ... another block.

[Cory Gabrielsen @corygabrielsen]

They will almost immediately run out of places to run. Wealth taxes are coming for the entire globe because the "elites" have abandoned God and charity.

tic. toc.

[H. @hankCmoody]

@ByronDonalds jagaloon.

[Min @min_aws]

Let's imagine if LLMs were the greatest con in the history of mankind. And if all OpenAI and Anthropic models were just spewing lies but you were too dumb to realize and differentiate it from reality...

Just imagine...

[H. @hankCmoody]

we leaning bullish @contrabxnd

https://t.co/flmKZZEDTM

[Jeff Park @dgt10011]

If you’re in AI, pivot to crypto

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

We hired a new VP of Engineering who is obsessed with agile methodology.

He called a meeting on his first day and said we need to transition to 2-week development sprints.

He wanted daily stand-ups, retrospective boards, and continuous deployment pipelines.

He wanted us to actually write new code.

I realized immediately that he was an existential threat to my lifestyle.

I let him finish his impassioned speech about workflow velocity.

Then I stood up, walked to the whiteboard, and drew a single horizontal line.

I told him agile sprints are a localized solution for a localized mindset.

I said our infrastructure operates on a Zenith Release Cycle.

He asked what a Zenith Release Cycle was.

I told him it's a holistic, macro-stabilization framework where we observe the system in a state of prolonged stasis.

By not touching the code for 18 months, we allow the legacy dependencies to organically settle.

I told him that deploying bi-weekly updates creates micro-abrasions in our database architecture.

I used the phrase chronological data scarring.

The CEO was in the room and audibly gasped.

He told the new VP that we can't risk chronological data scarring just to satisfy a trendy tech buzzword.

The VP looked at me like I'd just invented a new color.

He was completely paralyzed by the sheer density of my fabricated jargon.

He quietly agreed to adopt the Zenith Release Cycle.

We're officially scheduled to deploy our next update in the third quarter of 2027.

I spent the rest of the afternoon buying things I don't need on Amazon.

Agile is a disease invented by people who want to be punished for their salary.

I refuse to participate in my own suffering.

[zerohedge @zerohedge]

Cuba's Entire Power Grid Collapses As Castro's Grandson Seeks Talks With Trump https://t.co/XpAoufjARp

[Rev. Ray Cistman ✊🏾🙏🏾 @RevRayCistman]

Show me a single white baby born ballin’ this hard.

I’ll wait…