HarperTheFox

silly songstress. wife and mom with a wild past.

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

Nothing kills the mood faster than hearing “MOMMY!” from the other room. 💀

Parenthood is basically a never-ending game of trying to sneak in a quickie between bedtime battles, midnight wake-ups, and tiny humans who somehow have a sixth sense for when Mom and Dad are getting busy.

You finally get the toddlers asleep, the baby settled, and five glorious minutes alone with your husband… and suddenly EVERYBODY NEEDS SOMETHING. 😂

For all the sleep-deprived parents desperately trying to keep their marriage spicy after kids, this one’s for you.

🎶 Pound in Silence — my very inappropriate parody of Simon & Garfunkel’s The Sound of Silence.

#ParentingHumor #MomLife #MarriageAfterKids #ToddlerParents #ParenthoodUnfiltered

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

Gotye really dropped one of the biggest breakup anthems of all time, painted himself into a wall, and disappeared.

But what if Somebody That I Used to Know was actually about a dusty, unemployed situationship who wanted a sugar mama, couldn’t split the bills, and considered washing his balls an unreasonable demand?

The bare minimum was apparently too much to ask. Now you’re just somebody that I used to BLOW.

Send this to someone who’s survived a hobosexual.

#SomebodyThatIUsedToKnow #Gotye #ParodyMusic #DatingRedFlags #Hobosexual

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

send this to a friend who will snort laughing.

johnny cash warned us about the ring of fire, but nobody mentioned the importance of proper aim.

one minute you’re having a romantic night in pound town, the next you’re filing an incident report with your butthole.

wrong hole. wrong turn. emergency exit only.

some people fall into a burning ring of fire. others get there because somebody missed the entrance.

#RingOfFire #JohnnyCash #DirtyHumor #ParodySong #AdultHumor

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

send this to someone who wants your butt.

birthday or not, the back door is CLOSED for business.

some guys think a birthday wish is a legally binding contract. sorry, buddy. blow out your candles, eat your cake, and quit trying to negotiate your way into the forbidden entrance.

john fogerty never warned us about this kind of backdoor situation, but creedence clearwater revival had the perfect soundtrack for saying NO.

tag a buddy who needs to hear this before his next birthday.

#parodysong #creedenceclearwaterrevival #johnfogerty #dirtyhumor #adultcomedy

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

send this to a friend who will understand exactly how you feel. preferably one who’s also surrounded by dumbasses all day.

whether you work retail, wait tables, deal with customer service nightmares, have coworkers who couldn’t find their ass with both hands, or just made the mistake of opening the comment section on a political post… this one’s for you.

when the other side of the political aisle opens their mouth, when somebody asks a question you literally just answered, or when your last functioning brain cell is begging for retirement.

just another beautiful day of being surrounded by idiots.

don’t let your coworkers catch you watching this. or do. they probably need to hear it too.

#FunnySongs #ParodyMusic #RetailHumor #WorkplaceHumor #SurroundedByIdiots

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

a few drinks ago she looked like Shrek. now she’s giving princess Fiona, and he’s ready to take her home to his swamp 😏

his buddies said he’d need a bottle of wine to lower his standards, and boy did those powerful beer goggles work. true love is blind. especially when you’re blackout drunk.

another verse of now you’re a nine, my ridiculous johnny cash I walk the line parody about drunk hookups, questionable romantic decisions, and the transformative power of alcohol.

send this to the friend who always finds his princess Fiona at last call.

#shrek #johnnycash #countrymusic #songparody #beergoggles

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

they say there’s someone for everyone. sometimes that someone just needs about fourteen beers before he can see it.

she’s a lonely two at the bar, he’s a stumbling romantic with whiskey-soaked judgment, and suddenly it’s a country love story. beer goggles are doing the lord’s work tonight.

johnny cash walked the line. our hero can barely walk a straight one.

another verse of my ridiculous I walk the line parody, now you’re a nine. classic outlaw country meets drunken hookups, questionable decisions, and the magical power of lowered standards.

send this to a friend who’s never met an ugly woman after midnight.

#johnnycash #iwalktheline #countrymusic #songparody #beergoggles

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

she dropped out of college, but she’s still putting in the work. 💀

🎶 taking loads again 🎶

a very inappropriate Willie Nelson On the Road Again parody about a college dropout who trades her textbooks for a career in the world’s oldest profession. student loans, bad decisions, sex work, and a whole new meaning to working your way through school.

because sometimes the road to success takes a few unexpected turns. 🤠

#WillieNelson #OnTheRoadAgain #SongParody #CountryMusicParody #DirtyHumor

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

send to a friend who brings home questionable women 💀

it’s the final countdown to a very questionable hookup. she’s got the eye of the tiger, the thrill of the fight, and possibly something you can’t cure with antibiotics. 🐅

only vagina 🎸 a ridiculous, raunchy rock parody of survivor’s eye of the tiger, the legendary rocky III training montage anthem. 80s rock, classic rock, arena rock, one night stands, last call at the bar, beer goggles, bad decisions, sketchy hookups, questionable women, and the eternal struggle between lust and self-preservation.

#eyeofthetiger #rockyIII #songparody #80srock #darkhumor

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

are massage parlors real? I’ve gotten a few massages but no one has ever offered to polish my knob.

this is a song for those lonely lovers out there searching for their own happy ending ❤️❤️❤️

parody of “I’ve been working on the railroad” about an ugly woman at the saucy massage joint.

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

send to a buddy that you’re ready to piss off.

because I wrote a song for his wife.

country music, cowboy humor, and disrespect. this one’s a bite-sized parody of the outlaw country classic “good hearted woman” by waylon jennings and willie nelson.

behind every good-hearted woman is a man who’s doing his best with what he’s got. 🤏

#countrymusic #outlawcountry #countryparody #willienelson #waylonjennings

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

Ever been this close to getting lucky… and then given her THE ICK?

One minute she’s thinking about taking you home, the next you’re getting blocked before you even make it out of the bar. Welcome to the No Bone Zone. 🚫🦴

“Closing Thighs” — my parody of Semisonic’s 90s classic Closing Time. A little musical tribute to dating disasters, instant turnoffs, romantic rejection, and the mysterious little things that make a woman’s attraction disappear faster than last call.

What’s the most ridiculous thing that’s ever given you the ick?

#TheIck #ClosingThighs #DatingFails #SongParody #Semisonic

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

Tag a friend who’s ever found true love at the bottom of a bottle. 🤠

They say love is blind. Apparently, so is a man who’s been drinking whiskey since happy hour. 🥃

Here’s another verse of my deeply disrespectful tribute to Johnny Cash’s I Walk the Line, in which our stumbling romantic hero discovers that the secret to finding a perfect ten is simply to drink until you can’t count.

Standards? Lowered. Judgment? Impaired. Confidence? Through the roof. And that questionable stranger at the end of the bar? Suddenly looking like a whole lot of woman.

The Man in Black walked the line. Our hero can barely walk a straight one.

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

This one’s for the fellas who aren’t getting enough lovin’! 🍻

Welcome to a magical land where beer bellies are irresistible, neckbeards are treasured, and every beautiful woman wants YOU—even if you’re three beers deep and rambling nonsense.

My cam girl parody of Harry McClintock’s Big Rock Candy Mountain, made famous all over again by the O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack. A hillbilly fantasy for lonely hearts, hopeless romantics, incels, dudes stuck in dead bedrooms, widowers, and gentlemen whose love lives could use a little imagination.

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

Send to a friend who’s cried WAY too many tears for an unrepentant Ho-ho-ho.

A parody of “Folsom prison blues” by Johnny Cash, but about a very different kind of blues. The kind that Bonnie Blue might inflict.

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

Share this with your dirtiest-minded friend. They’ll appreciate a little small-town hospitality.

Bob Dylan started it, Old Crow Medicine Show finished it, Darius Rucker made it a country radio smash, and I dragged “Wagon Wheel” straight into the shadiest strip club this side of the county line.

Somewhere between the cheap beer, questionable business practices, and suspiciously sticky floors, I think we lost the wholesome Americana.

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

Share this with a friend who will have an absolutely disproportionate meltdown when he opens it. Bonus points if he never speaks to you again.

A parody of Blink-182’s All the Small Things. I’ve turned it into Micro Ding-a-Ling, a pop-punk anthem about tiny wieners.

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

Send to a buddy who’s brought home some real questionable ladies.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unfortunately, sometimes the beholder has had fourteen beers and lost the ability to focus. 🍻

Johnny Cash gave us the timeless country classic I Walk the Line. I took that beautiful piece of American musical history and turned it into a cautionary tale about beer goggles, bad decisions, and a woman who goes from a solid two to a smoking nine somewhere around last call.

I’m sure the Man in Black would be thrilled with what I’ve done to his legacy.

Tag a friend whose dating standards are directly proportional to their blood alcohol content. 🤠

[HarperTheFox @HarperTheFox]

I don’t know what it says about the state of humanity that one of my most popular parody songs of all time is about a $20 hooker, but I don’t think it’s anything good.

Leonard Cohen wrote Hallelujah. Jeff Buckley made it iconic. Rufus Wainwright sang it in Shrek. And somewhere along the way, I turned it into Then She Blew Ya, a touching ballad about the world’s most affordable lady of the evening.

Leonard Cohen is rolling over in his grave, and apparently the rest of you are singing along.

Share this with your most fucked-in-the-head friend.