Macaulay Culprit

_____🚪🖼 ___🍷╮(✿. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭📱___🛋 📺 ________ welcome… to my oasis

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

after a while nachos start to feel like jenga yk what i mean

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

ok time to watch brokeback mountain for the first time

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

50 lbs of farm fresh orbeez

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

being gentle

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

sours are beers for kids

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

mood: sending maniacal valentines to everyone i love today

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

3 bucks 2 bags 1 me!!!!

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

@paiguschrist who do i need to fight

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

guy in my building saw me dressed like this n just started laughing and said "you really are just chillin aren't you"

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

@mothsore and don't even get me started about a ":~)"... u KNOW it's a good day

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

@sizzlemacwizzle its 5 o clock for wil thustini!🍸💫@bustinthuston

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

everyone that comes to my house gets martinified no exceptions >:-)

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

seantinis are silly not stirred @sizzlemacwizzle

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

shaving my head into my plants fostering a symbiotic relationship

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

gazpacho and kimade it's gonna be a good day bible on dad

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

diva lunch >>> girl dinner

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

st. louis is my barbie land 💘

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

i know you can spell it "mangoes" but why would you

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

buying a bedroom doorbell as inner child work

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

bugs would be so much cuter if they kissed you instead of biting you

[Macaulay Culprit @Hashmaggs]

don't mind me telling every gorgeous girl at the wedding she's giving kate hudson in how to lose a guy in 10 days 💘