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LITURGY CLXIX — CARE
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Not the care that seeks to prevent every wound.
Nor the kind that protects so much that it prevents experience.
Nor the kind that accompanies while hoping that someday what we care for will justify our effort.
Rather, the care that remains attentive to another’s life without claiming it as its own.
Cultivation means preparing the conditions for something to grow.
Care goes further.
For there may come a time when there is nothing left to cultivate.
Nothing to correct.
Nothing to improve.
Perhaps nothing even to expect.
And yet,
we can still care.
We can care for what is beginning.
What is growing.
What hesitates.
What makes mistakes.
What flowers.
And also what passes through a season in which no flower seems possible.
For care does not derive its meaning from the outcome.
It finds its meaning in presence.
To care is to say:
I am here.
Not to live for you.
Not to spare you every fall.
Not to decide what you should become.
But so that, while you pass through what is yours to live, there may be a presence that does not turn your vulnerability into a debt.
But to care does not mean to prevent pain.
There are lessons no protection can replace.
Mistakes that must be allowed to happen.
Decisions whose consequences belong to the one who makes them.
Questions no one can answer for another.
There are times when intervening too much can prevent the very thing we intended to care for.
That is why care requires discernment.
Knowing when to draw near.
Knowing when to remain.
Knowing when to speak.
Knowing when to be silent.
And also,
knowing when to take our hands away.
Taking our hands away does not mean withdrawing love.
It means refusing to let love become dominion.
The one who cares does not say:
After everything I have done for you.
For then what seemed to be care begins to become an accounting.
True care keeps no accounts.
It accumulates no merit.
It creates no debtors.
It sends no bill to the future.
What we care for does not owe us its flowering.
And perhaps it does not owe us its continued nearness once it has flowered.
This may hurt.
For caring does not make us indifferent.
We want to know.
We long to accompany.
We would be glad to remain part of that life.
We may even inwardly wish that it would not move away from us.
But our desire does not constitute a right.
To love another’s freedom also means accepting that they may exercise it by moving away from us.
Then we discover that care has a strange reward.
It does not come afterward.
It has already happened.
We were rewarded while we cared.
In the trust that was once given to us.
In the moment when we were able to accompany.
In what we learned while trying to help.
In the transformation brought about within us by the presence of what we cared for.
For the one who cares also learns.
Learns their own limits.
Discovers their impatience.
Recognizes their need to control.
Encounters regions of themselves that had remained hidden.
Understands that sometimes we must act.
At other times, wait.
And sometimes, simply be there.
Thus care transforms both.
Not necessarily in the same way.
Not necessarily at the same time.
Perhaps not even while remaining together.
But no true encounter leaves only one of those who took part in it unchanged.
That is why caring does not place us above the one who needs care.
Today I support.
Tomorrow I may need to be supported.
Today I teach something.
Tomorrow I may discover that what I thought I was teaching was teaching me.
Today I accompany a journey.
And as I accompany it,
my own journey changes too.
There is, finally, an even more difficult form of care.
The care that knows how to accompany a departure.
Let us not anticipate that liturgy yet.
But let us acknowledge its presence on the horizon.
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