Top Tweets for #Retailworkers

On The Road With Al & Ivy: August 29, 2025 The return of The Boogie Underground Think-tank, led by Al Handa and based on the works of the late Professor Ivydog of Shihtzu U, to soon be featured in the upcoming ebook, "I, Ivy." Topic: The Book of Snobs, Part 2 - American Aristocratic Cosplay in the retail sector. Note: this tract is a work of satire. The stated dates and time frames have been fact checked according to stringent Internet standards. One of the things that I've noticed on social media is the presence of videos which show customers abusing or even assaulting retail workers. Although one expert, the late Professor Ivydog of Shihtzu U, noted in her best selling book, "Cats Hate Your Guts," that this merely documents common practice that goes back centuries, I prefer to think that this is a new phenomenon that we can blame on the Internet. All educated Americans know, even those educated on the Internet, the Constitution guarantees that all men (and women where required by state or Federal statute) are equal. This right has stood up after two centuries of people doing their best to circumvent this obligation which some find tiresome and outmoded in a society where the one true God is money. Luckily for many, capitalism has found a loophole, which of course involves money; which is that one can rent, or in a more modern term, cosplay the aristocracy as part of any legitimate purchase. In other words, the purchase of a product invokes "the customer is always right' rule, or in more modern parlance, "the customer is never wrong." The one problem is that this axiom was originally intended for the one who profited from the purchases, it wasn't intended as a responsibility to be borne by those who are paid peanuts to carry out the business owner's vision. This encouraged the less robust business owners to hide behind a human shield of retail workers. However, a consumer innovation, which was started by consumer experts in the '70s, was the notion that front line workers could be held responsible for a substandard product or not knowing every word of company policy, even if, as some may argue, the hapless minimum wage coolie has no motivation to memorize such sacred mantras. Professor Ivydog argued the legal principle of punishing front line serfs stems from the 24th Century B.C. practice of "Bubulum stercus," or guilt by association, or "Negae, ineptiae, gerrae," otherwise known as "included with purchase." Enlightened people should not judge those abusing frontline workers too harshly; it hasn't been easy for such blood thirsty types since bull whipping a social inferior was outlawed 14 years ago. The practice of torturing retail workers would be difficult to eradicate because business owners have little incentive to absorb the blows now reserved for underlings who can't object out of fear of losing their job. After all, according to American religious beliefs, such jobs are not intended to provide a living anyway, so any uppity pack animal can leave if they don't like it. Indeed, this abdication of responsibility allows the owner the vicarious thrill of watching customers inflicting death by a thousand cuts on the servant class. That's a win-win in the Capitalist playbook! We at the Boogie Underground Think-tank applaud modern Innovations that enable people to cosplay the aristocracy and restore the rights of the common man (and woman where required by state or Federal statute) seeking relief from the annoying burden of treating others as equals. In the next installment, the think-tank will examine how the Internet has given witch hunters new life since burning people at the stake was outlawed 10 years ago. Al Handa's eBooks on KU: On The Road With Al & Ivy - Book 1: Becoming A Face https://t.co/4Xy4hNBoyP On The Road With Al & Ivy - Anthology Vol. 1 https://t.co/yjxVDCvv1D Knee Deep In Glory https://t.co/4eErZZteQi #satire #humor #retailworkers #socialcommentary

On The Road With Al & Ivy: August 29, 2025 The return of The Boogie Underground Think-tank, led by Al Handa and based on the works of the late Professor Ivydog of Shihtzu U, to soon be featured in the upcoming ebook, "I, Ivy." Topic: The Book of Snobs, Part 2 - American Aristocratic Cosplay in the retail sector. Note: this tract is a work of satire. The stated dates and time frames have been fact checked according to stringent Internet standards. One of the things that I've noticed on social media is the presence of videos which show customers abusing or even assaulting retail workers. Although one expert, the late Professor Ivydog of Shihtzu U, noted in her best selling book, "Cats Hate Your Guts," that this merely documents common practice that goes back centuries, I prefer to think that this is a new phenomenon that we can blame on the Internet. All educated Americans know, even those educated on the Internet, the Constitution guarantees that all men (and women where required by state or Federal statute) are equal. This right has stood up after two centuries of people doing their best to circumvent this obligation which some find tiresome and outmoded in a society where the one true God is money. Luckily for many, capitalism has found a loophole, which of course involves money; which is that one can rent, or in a more modern term, cosplay the aristocracy as part of any legitimate purchase. In other words, the purchase of a product invokes "the customer is always right' rule, or in more modern parlance, "the customer is never wrong." The one problem is that this axiom was originally intended for the one who profited from the purchases, it wasn't intended as a responsibility to be borne by those who are paid peanuts to carry out the business owner's vision. This encouraged the less robust business owners to hide behind a human shield of retail workers. However, a consumer innovation, which was started by consumer experts in the '70s, was the notion that front line workers could be held responsible for a substandard product or not knowing every word of company policy, even if, as some may argue, the hapless minimum wage coolie has no motivation to memorize such sacred mantras. Professor Ivydog argued the legal principle of punishing front line serfs stems from the 24th Century B.C. practice of "Bubulum stercus," or guilt by association, or "Negae, ineptiae, gerrae," otherwise known as "included with purchase." Enlightened people should not judge those abusing frontline workers too harshly; it hasn't been easy for such blood thirsty types since bull whipping a social inferior was outlawed 14 years ago. The practice of torturing retail workers would be difficult to eradicate because business owners have little incentive to absorb the blows now reserved for underlings who can't object out of fear of losing their job. After all, according to American religious beliefs, such jobs are not intended to provide a living anyway, so any uppity pack animal can leave if they don't like it. Indeed, this abdication of responsibility allows the owner the vicarious thrill of watching customers inflicting death by a thousand cuts on the servant class. That's a win-win in the Capitalist playbook! We at the Boogie Underground Think-tank applaud modern Innovations that enable people to cosplay the aristocracy and restore the rights of the common man (and woman where required by state or Federal statute) seeking relief from the annoying burden of treating others as equals. In the next installment, the think-tank will examine how the Internet has given witch hunters new life since burning people at the stake was outlawed 10 years ago. Al Handa's eBooks on KU: On The Road With Al & Ivy - Book 1: Becoming A Face https://t.co/4Xy4hNBoyP On The Road With Al & Ivy - Anthology Vol. 1 https://t.co/yjxVDCvv1D Knee Deep In Glory https://t.co/4eErZZteQi #satire #humor #retailworkers #socialcommentary