Hayley Simpson

Award-Winning Screenwriter | Narrative Designer | Olive Garden Unlimited Soup Lover. Wicked Gay 🏳️‍🌈.
Narrative Designer on @WWEGames #WWE2K26

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

I won’t be using Twitter anymore. You can find me on instagram!

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

I’m a simple girl.

I watch The Bear.

I buy a tasting spoon.

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

I just found out you CAN eat too many jelly beans….

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

Pining for the cool erasers at The Scholastic Book fair emotionally prepared me for this economy…

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

Woke up today at 5am after my dog pooped all over.

Unrelated, anyone want a rug…

…or a 13 year old dog?

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

If you think about it, If I sleep in long enough then I’ll actually be on time…

…nope that’s not how that works…

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

Are we moving to threads?

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

@procrastnwriter @aadip Yikesssssss…….

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

I have had burritos more supreme than the this court…

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

I haven’t died yet!

[Variety @Variety]

Colin Farrell speaks at the WGA picket line: "It's a testament to the arrogance of those at the top that these people are now out of work because they are doing the right thing." https://t.co/WLAhBc0cqZ

[Melissa Turkington @Leftovers_Movie]

David Zaslav, famously well-liked by everyone.

[Erika Ishii @erikaishii]

@WGAWest @WGAEast Give ‘em hell. See you on the picket lines in my neighborhood ✊🏼

[Writers Guild of America West @WGAWest]

The Board of Directors of the @WGAwest and the Council of the @WGAeast, acting upon the authority granted to them by their memberships, have voted unanimously to call a strike, effective 12:01 AM, Tuesday, May 2.

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

Therapist: well what do you think you need to do about your racing thoughts?

Me: turn it off then back on again?

Therapist: ……………

Me: …………….I’ll see you next week….

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

@thehandsomepage Thanks! Can you audio record this so I can play it over my lunch break everyday?

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

First week working at a new video game job.

Me: I have no idea what I’m doing but if I just read enough Slack messages then I’ll figure it out.

Also me: No……….no you won’t……

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

@procrastnwriter My dialogue.

Me: shit…

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

This last month has been a wild ride. 1) almost died. 2) Finished 2 scripts. 3) Getting ready for a playtest for my own TTRPG system. 4) Landing the biggest gig to date with a video game company.

Maybe I need to almost die more often…

[Hayley Simpson @HayleyComedy]

@procrastnwriter I’d need to add 20 forgotten projects to that one too.