Marcus P. Hazelnut

of One Thousand Jerseys

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

Updated for 2026.

Please win a Super Bowl so I can stop (I'll never stop)

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

@JMO_757 😂😂😂

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

The Washington Nationals are TWO Blown Saves shy of the ALL TIME MLB record.

#fireGlant

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

Last game of the season for me! See y'all in 2028! (Post lockout 😭😭😭)

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

COMMAND THE THOUGHTS: THE DEPTHS OF HELL

41 players didn't play in this preseason game. God I hope we only have a 41 man roster this upcoming season.

In a perfect and just world, every single player who took the field today other than Stevens and Way, should be excommunicated within 24 hours. I do not want to see any part of any player who participated in this game during the regular season.

The thing is. We are going to. And if last season was any indication of what's to to come, we are going to A LOT.

Depth is going to be a HUGE problem again. And the teams that go far have GREAT depth. We were already very thin at WR and C (and now, the entire OL). I don't think we can afford ANY injuries this season after watching preseason and hearing about practices. It's a huge red flag for the future of this season.

I don't want to be too negative, since we are running 3rd, 4th, and 5th (cut) stringers all game and we are using 10% of our normal football plays. This could easily be forgotten about in 2 weeks. But I HAVE seen this before and it usually doesn't end well.

For now, we will pretend this is pointless football played by pointless football players. Because that is what it actually is. Until it isn't.

Hail to the Commanders!

Hail Victory.

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

@JMO_757 😭😭😭

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

COMMAND THE THOUGHTS, PRESEASON EDITION: PLEASE PROTECT DANIELS

With 75% of the starters playing, there are some VERY quick, early concerns with our O-line (which we have feared). JDRedacted had 3 plays. They were: Almost getting sacked and throwing the ball away. Getting sacked. And a conceding handoff so they could punt. If THAT is a sign of things to come, I am going to be a very sad person this season. I also am a little worried that THIS is all Daniels is getting for any kind of warmup heading into the season. He hasn't had consistent playing time/success since the 2024 playoffs. And coming into one of the toughest stretches of any recent season to begin 2026, he has 3 plays where 2 of them probably gave him PTSD. He is Jayden though, so I'm not Carson Wentz worried. But I AM a little worried.

The defense looked GREAT though. A complete turnaround from last week. Our 1st/2nd string were out there just MURDERING dudes. Robertson's sack/fumble. And Owens just trucking their RB to make the QB throw the ball away. Loved their physical play, and THAT is a wonderful sign of things to come.

But it's preseason, so you can only read so much into it. I'm just happy I don't have to worry about field goals (yet).

Hail to the Commanders!

Hail victory.

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

The Nationals can not fire Glant fast enough. It's literally multiple times a week at this point. Openers aren't prepared. Closers aren't prepared. Nobody coming from that bullpen, no matter who they are, are prepared to pitch in any situation, in any baseball game.

See ya in 2028.

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

Command the Thoughts, Preseason Edition: Tell Sam Hartman There are Very Good Hair Products on Mars.

Not much to say about preseason. But. The first/second string combo looked slightly concerning. Especially on D (not much to gage when Daniels isn't playing). But our depth running game looked good!

I hope Mariota is ok. I really don't want to go into the season with THE GREEK GOD as our primary backup. But he looked good for a 3rd stringer!

A few injuries tonight. All depth (obviously). Other than that, we won! 22 more to go!

HAIL to the Commanders!

HAIL VICTORY!!!

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

Remember when we had a 100% healthy team and the most drama-free qb in the league?

Early August was a great time.

#RaiseHail

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

I'll never know why we keep insisting on throwing an opener out there with the world's worst bullpen. It does nothing except cost us pointless runs.

#Nats

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

@SenorMcGibblets 😂😂

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

8 prospects for Luis Garcia and Foster Griffin.

Not a bad haul, but I hate that we're taking steps backwards and diving right back into the middle of ANOTHER rebuild when we were SO close to being out of it.

#Nats

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

I don't know the inner workings of what goes down inside the locker room, but at what point do we hold Glant accountable?

There are too many pitchers who seem unprepared, whether it's walks, long bombs with pitches being thrown down the middle, hit batters, and pitch clock violations.

I feel like this issue is much deeper than "we have 100% awful bullpen pitchers"

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

Baseball is broken, and I am actively rooting for the #MLB season to be canceled next season (and I hate it). It is the ONLY way to fix this problem of having teams buy championships. Baseball needs a salary cap. I can't believe Manfred has allowed it to go this far to the point we need to CANCEL AN ENTIRE SEASON just to make it normal again.

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

NATS THOUGHTS:

I'm about to be REALLY bummed by this season. But I never thought we would even be at this point. We're way ahead of schedule in the rebuild (Davey Martinez was a terrorist), but we're about to take a few steps back, IMO. We were a bullpen (which is a big thing, I know) away from being a serious contender this season. But more on that.

The bullpen is broken. It isn't "a few bad pitchers". It's everybody. Even guys who pitch well come out of the bullpen and just look unprepared. Walks. Deep home runs. Pitch clock violations. It's like the prep work isn't there. It has just been SO consistent this season. I honestly think the problem lies DEEP within the bullpen. And I look at coaching. I know Butera is new here (and I LOVE him so far), but it's time he has to make his first big boy decision. And I think that decision needs to be firing his bullpen coach. He probably doesn't want to step on any toes in his first year as a manager, but this is what he signed up for.

We're about to sell guys who are having the season of their life (Garcia and Griffin most likely. Do NOT touch Abrams or Wood). Our broken bullpen and our cheap-ass owner scare me for the future of this team.

Fire Glant (the bullpen coach).

#Nats
#Nationals

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

The 2026 State of the Commanders Address: The Comeback Kids

My god we had a wild two years. Ignoring the past 30 years prior (which is impossible to do), we have had two POLAR OPPOSITE seasons. In the year 1JD (time begins when Jayden Daniels was drafted), we had a season, which I never thought I would see or experience in my adulthood. The following year, in 2JD, it was BUSINESS AS USUAL where I was sad by midseason. So what do I expect out of 3JD? Doctors are FURIOUS over this one opinion, click here to find out what it is!

I thought we had an IMMACULATE offseason. We addressed 90% of our needs, which were MAINLY of defense. The defense was another Classic Disaster last season. The likes of which we had to catapult Joe Whitt so far into space, radio signals couldn't pick up him wanting our linebackers and defensive ends covering our opponent's fastest receiver. I don't want to remember last year's defense. Marshon Lattimore still sleeps under my bed and watches me sleep.

Additions like Robertson, Cross, Witherspoon, and Douglas should make our defensive backfield not just better, but GOOD. WE ACTUALLY HAVE LINEBACKERS, HOORAH! Oweh, Chenal, and Chaisson are GREAT pickups. Settle and Omenihu should be very good for our D Line too.

The offense didn't change much. That is both good and bad (more on the bad in a bit). We lost Rodriguez, but gained White and Ford. We lost Ertz (who I think is more or less done being productive) but gained Okonkwo (who I have always really liked!). Those are small improvements. The O was never really a problem. Especially with a HEALTHY Jayden Daniels. But uh-oh Spaghetti O's, there are two glaring problems.

Let's start with the smaller one. Center. We got rid of Biadasz (thank god I don't have to spell THAT anymore). He was good. Not great. But, good. And we replaced him with air. Yes, air. We will line up this season without a center and hope the balls magically travels into JD5's hands every play. I don't know what our plans were when we let Biadasz walk, but....it would have been nice to have one.

THE OTHER ISSUE, OH HELP ME IN THIS TIME OF NEED, is Wide Receiver.

This is our top 6:

Terry McLaurin
Guy in the 3rd row at Northwest Stadium when Jayden Daniels has to throw the ball away because we only have Terry McLaurin

That is it. The end. Season over.

I KNOW we have others. Brown. Burks. Lane. McCaffrey. Jefferson? But like. I'm not convinced any of those guys are better than a #4 on any other team. And this sucks because we are going to rely WAY too heavily on Terry and Jayden to carry the passing game. And we're going to get frustrated with them when it's not working. And we will not focus on any of the other guys running slow, incorrect routes. I just don't see this working out in our favor.

In saying that, JD5 made it work in 2024. He made stars out of guys who weren't even comets. He's going to have to work that magic again if we hope to have any type of success this season.

I think the team has VASTLY improved. I was incredibly happy and impressed with Peters this offseason (other than Center and WR, but we were SO bad last year, this probably was a 3 year fix). But like any team with a marquee quarterback: If Jayden stays healthy, we have a shot of doing The Thing. And if he doesn't....RIP.

I think if we can sign Diggs asap we will be much better off. If not....well. Good luck.

TL:DR:

If the Commanders can sign Diggs, we will be better not just on defense, but on offense as well. 10-7.

If not, and we are just better on defense: 9-8.

HAIL to the Commanders!

HAIL VICTORY!!!

#HTTC

#RaiseHail

#Commanders

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

@JMO_757 Haha now that we have the new jerseys, that might come sooner than later

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

The newest king's crown.

[Marcus P. Hazelnut @Hazelnut3000]

@JoshuaBRobbins Josh, it's there any way you can find out the last time the Wizards hit a game winning shot at the buzzer?

I guarantee the results would stun people.