My therapist once told me: Imagine being bitten by a snake and, instead of treating the bite, you waste time chasing the snake to understand why it bit you and prove you didn't deserve it.
WOMAN TO WOMAN: Date sweet men. Men who are calm. Men who can communicate well. Men who are patient with you. Men who respect both you and themselves. Men who are kind to you. Men that are gentle. Men have have self control.