We gotta have friends. Got to. Or we’ll lose our grip. We need active friendships. People we do actual life with. People distinct from us. It’s a huge part of mental health, not to mention spiritual health for those of faith. Scrolling & trolling does not = healthy socialization.
Christian singer Matthew West shared a powerful story about taking his daughter to camp. During an exercise, the daughters were blindfolded and the dads were told to guide them through the woods after repeating three instructions: I will never leave you. You can ask me anything. And only listen for my voice.
At first, he could guide her easily. Then the counselors signaled for him to remove his hand. He was no longer allowed to speak unless his daughter remembered she could ask him anything. Eventually, they got off track on their hike and a counselor quietly led her into a ditch without her realizing it.
After standing there blindfolded and confused, she finally asked, “Dad, are you there?”
Matthew said he teared up as he answered, “Yeah. I’m here.”
This moment reminded him how often we forget the same truths about God: that He never leaves us, we can ask Him anything, and we need to listen for His voice.
I was starting to get really annoyed at how it could still be so cold at the end of March, but then I looked at the calendar and realized that it is, in fact, only January 24th.
“Infinite, and an infant. Eternal, and yet born of a woman. Almighty, and yet hanging on a woman’s breast. Supporting a universe, and yet needing to be carried in a mother’s arms…Heir of all things, and yet the carpenter’s despised son.” – Charles Spurgeon
IF I GET DEMENTIA…..
I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.
1a. Every time you enter the room announce yourself. “Hi Dad - it’s Amanda.”
NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.
• If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
• If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
• If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
• If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
• If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
• If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
• If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
• If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
• If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
• If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
• If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
• If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
• If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
• If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live. With a bus and activities!!
• If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
• If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places.
Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
• If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
• If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
• If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
• If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
• If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”
ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ in Honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honor of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s.
This is Bryan. Once a week, he takes a shelter pup on a New York City adventure in his ‘Adopt Me’ backpack, hoping someone will fall in love. He films their big day out, and almost every dog he’s featured has found a forever home. Please leave him a heart ❤️ for helping good dogs find their humans.
Long day in the hospital today. Surprisingly busy for Fall. Hard to imagine what winter will be like.
Golden tip if you have a loved one in the hospital:
Be the BEST advocate you can. Be there at the bedside as much as possible watching over things like a hawk, for however long you can. Trust me— this can literally make the difference between life and death. Having a strong advocate is one of the greatest blessings when you’re sick. I don’t know anybody that doesn’t have a story to tell about mistakes that they’ve seen occur in a healthcare setting (impossible to avoid, hospitals are by nature very busy places with a lot going on).
It’s always inspiring when I walk into a patient’s room and see loved ones by their side— cheering them on, asking thoughtful questions, and making sure everything is on track. I always make a point to tell families how wonderful it is to see them there.
One day, any of us could be in that position. There’s nothing worse than being alone in a hospital. If it were up to me, there would be no restrictions on visiting hours— as long as visits don’t disturb sleep or other patients.
I will repeat again: Being the best advocate you can be for your loved one in hospital— whether you are a spouse, child, parent, sibling, or even a trusted friend— is LIFESAVING.