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Professional Word Gardener
@heatherjs
Professional Word Gardener
California, USA
Joined September 2008
10.1K
Following
19.9K
Followers
278.2K
Posts
Pinned Tweet
Professional Word Gardener
@heatherjs
almost 9 years ago
I'm a fierce writer, in the field as the dawn draws near and everyone's mind's a blank with uncontrolled slumber.
heatherjs
retweeted
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker
about 23 hours ago
The postal abbreviation for Oklahoma is OK, but I’ve seen better.
Professional Word Gardener
@heatherjs
about 13 hours ago
@DaddyJew
💀
heatherjs
retweeted
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker
about 12 years ago
If I ever see a ghost that looks like one of those antagonists in Pac-Man, I don't think I'll be very scared.
Who to follow
Suds
@stacywawa1
I work, play, mom. In it for the (in)sanity and laughs. https://t.co/lInVHpd2ni
Suzietine_Kryze
@Suzietine_Kryze
Sorry today is not the day I inspire you. Caribbean Ladybug
Uncle Bob 🍩
@UncleBob56
Grandpa, teacher, outdoorsman, dad joker, beer drinker extraordinaire. My top tweet is coming out tomorrow. #EnvyDaStrength #LuvPug #BlessTheBlueEyedBoy
Professional Word Gardener
@heatherjs
about 22 hours ago
I burned my toast so that you don’t have to.
heatherjs
retweeted
DaddyJew
@DaddyJew
1 day ago
sounds like this owl outside my window has quite the mystery on his hands
heatherjs
retweeted
Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEric
1 day ago
I'm gonna name my next dog Keith Richards so he will live forever.
heatherjs
retweeted
Marcmywords
@Marcmywords2
1 day ago
People that call this place X are the same pretentious posers that refer to UFOs as UAPs.
heatherjs
retweeted
Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEric
2 days ago
[speed dating] Her: I’m a morning person. Me: ok bye.
heatherjs
retweeted
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker
1 day ago
Unless a chicken cooked it, it should just be called “fried steak.”
heatherjs
retweeted
Nayele18
@nayele18maybe
2 days ago
A snooze button, but for when someone is telling you a boring story
heatherjs
retweeted
Rumi
@rumilyrics
2 days ago
Your time as a caterpillar has expired. Your wings are ready.
heatherjs
retweeted
DaddyJew
@DaddyJew
10 months ago
Me: goodnight moon Moon: goodnight buffoon
heatherjs
retweeted
Natalie Would
@_NatalieWould
1 day ago
First date idea: we need to talk
heatherjs
retweeted
Richard Harris
@RichHarris2
2 days ago
When it’s hard to tell if someone loves you they probably don’t.
Professional Word Gardener
@heatherjs
2 days ago
Airplane mode, but for people.
Professional Word Gardener
@heatherjs
2 days ago
Let me get this strait- mine your own business.
heatherjs
retweeted
PUNS
@ThePunnyWorld
2 days ago
I changed all my passwords to “Kenny.” Now I have all Kenny Loggins. I’m alright… I just like living in the danger zone.
heatherjs
retweeted
Noah Verrier
@NoahVerrier
2 days ago
My oil painting of a grilled cheese sandwich
heatherjs
retweeted
Wilde Thingy (new account)
@WilderThingy
3 days ago
While I might not be any good at my job, I comfort myself with the fact that everybody else is even worse.
heatherjs
retweeted
Wilde Thingy (new account)
@WilderThingy
3 days ago
Life hack: If you're feeling down, post a selfie. You can always rely on people online to lie to you about how gorgeous you are.
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