Heather Gorman

awkward and I sing a little bit. #SAUCheerAlumni #ΣΑAlumni

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Dating me is like trying to put a fitted sheet on the bed by yourself. It can be done, but it ain’t easy.

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Two guys at work were arguing about which vehicle brand was the best. One asked me what I drove and before I could answer, the other said, “A Honda Civic.” -I don’t, but he kinda cooked me with that answer. 😂

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Landry: “I cried through most of the Taylor Swift concert.”

Nicole: “I went to a Snoop Dogg concert and cried during Gin & Juice.”

-There’s 2 types of girls. 😂

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Y’all, tonight at the restaurant before we sang “Happy Birthday” to my grandma, Paisley (sweet, thoughtful, & meets no stranger) went to each table and told everyone to sing with us and they passed the vibe check. I wish I had videoed it.

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Me thinking that I have my life together because I did laundry in the few hours that I was home last weekend vs. me finding that I never hit start on the dryer yesterday. 🥴

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

I gotta stop watching all of these medical shows. This morning, as I was sleeping through my alarms and dreaming that they were sirens, I dreamt that Justin and I were EMTs and I can't decide which is funnier- that he was the medic or that I was the driver. 😬

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

My 10 year old step brother told me, “I know what I want to be when I grow up! I’m gonna start a company teaching short people math and call it making the little things count.” 🙃

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

So, I’ve just started watching “Love on the Spectrum” and I’m a little jealous. Bc how come when they say exactly what’s on their mind, it’s met with appreciation, but when I do it, I get blocked? 🤔

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

On today’s episode of “How Awkward Could You Possibly Be”, a lady pointed to my Hogs sweatshirt and said, “Woo Pig” and I nervously responded, “Thank you.”

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Also Emersyn (really narrowing things down): “I know who we can write one for. Do you know that person from Camden?”

-It was my friend Courtney that lives on Hampton. 😂

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

*Mom and Emersyn (5 years old) sitting at the table writing Christmas cards*

Mom: “Who’s Valerie?”

Emersyn: *Heavy sigh* “That’s NOT Valerie. You can’t read.” 😂

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

I sent a picture of me working on my AC to a group of friends and one responded with, “I’m HVAC certified.” So, I sent another picture of me holding my capacitor and said, “Me too.” 😂

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

My boss said, “It’s so hot outside, it feels like we’re breathing hair dryer air.” 😂

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

As we were walking upstairs to get ready, Macy said, “When we come back downstairs, we’re gonna look like completely different women.” I said, “I can only hope.” 😂

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Macy: “I miss you!! You’ve probably grown 2 feet since I last saw you.”

I’m 5’0 at age 28, and it’s only been 2-3 weeks since I’ve seen her. 😂

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Me *reaching for something and failing*: “I think I was a t-Rex in another life.”

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Heather-ism of the day: Doing something in the least coordinated way possible and saying, “Cat like reflexes.”

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

I’m told that Em acts just like me & I’m starting to see it too. I said, “Are you coming to cuddle?” She said, “Yeah, but just a little.” She moved everything around me, sat beside me not at all touching me for 2 seconds, said “Okay, that’s enough” & then walked out of the room.

[Drebae @Drebae_]

When i ask someone for directions and they start talking about east & west:

[Heather Gorman @heatherrrG2012]

Him: “Good morning.“
Me: “Time to rise and ruin lives.” 😂