Mister Unicorn

Really spoiled. Kind of empty.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

I've made sort of a backup account that you can follow if you want but at this point that would really make you the crazy one hey_sascha

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

This may be a shot in the dark, but if anyone knows how to hack into my account and change my password then please contact me.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

Sharing a bathroom with someone and expecting romance is like getting the crust out of your eyes and expecting compliments on your looks.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

What's with the lack of truly famous seahorses?

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

RT if I'm your thinspiration.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

Dealing with unrequited love is so much harder when you're single.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

Merry Christmas, you adorable weirdos. Now go outside and love everything.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

The apocalypse was okay.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

@PolyesterPony Your timeline is my safe place <3

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

It's hard to have fun when so many people have naturally loud voices.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

I'm fliiiiirtiiing with youuuuuu ... uuu ... uh.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

The thought of spending Christmas alone for the first time ever makes me really happy and kind of proud in a weird way. Huh. I like this.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

Your parents put me through college.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

I made up plans for the weekend but they're really none of your business.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

I want to be your Instagram-igo, you silly goose! http://t.co/IeKlJxm2

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

Boy, those peers of mine sure keep me on my toes!

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

I don't know, maybe cancel a date when you're visibly fucked up JUST TAKING A WILD GUESS HERE THOUGH, I COULD BE WRONG.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

@PolyesterPony Pretty much the most bizarre four minutes of my life.

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

That was a short date cause I was like "are you stoned?" and he was like "yes".

[Mister Unicorn @HelloMrUnicorn]

http://t.co/WTMF8Yqt