Hemant Bhatt

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

If they texted like this
@MumbaiPolice #faketexts #funtime #funny

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

@VancityReynolds Ofcourse Deadpool would #Deadpool #AvengersInfinityWars https://t.co/Ef5lVHb3XR

[Taglr @taglrindia]

"Ammi jaan kehti thi ki koi bhi dhanda chotta nahi hota". #search #shopping #shopsmartsearchtaglr #Deadpool

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

The season is back #IPL2018 #IPLOpeningCeremony #IPL #Cricket #VIVOIPL #indiancricket

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

Indian media: That animal is called 'elephant'.
Me: Here they go again. Just another proper gainda news.
#indianmedia #desipuns #comedy

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

Azhar hits the ball in neighbours' garden

Aunty: Kaun hai yeh badtameez?

Azhar: Ball do na zara......

#azhar #haha #toomuchtimeonhand

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

Right hand: Tu hamesha mujhe copy kyun karta hai? Get a life bro

Left hand: Main teri knuckle kar raha hun

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

If there was a nuclear blast, my girlfriend's ego would still survive.
It would neither be destroyed nor mutate. #gfbf #truestory

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

Eat "upar vala hissa" of all the pavs at social gatherings to show dominance
#alphanature #sociallyskilled

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

#CCMomTexts @ComedyCentralIn
Mummy: Yeh tere dp mein teri gf hai?
Me: Ladka hai vo! Lambe baal hai
Mummy: Yeh tere dp mein tera bf hai?

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

Knock knock
What's there?
Life
What life?
Exactly

*cries in a corner*
#KnockKnock #nobodyisthere

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

When I was born, I didn't know how the world worked.
25 years later, I know less than Jon Snow. #confused #GoT #youknownothing

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

Friend: Sun na
Me: Bol
Friend: Nakhun hai?
Me: Haan
Friend: Toh khuja na
Me:..........

is the reason why I have trust issues
#ghanta #chu

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

My wanderlust wakes up when I see cool travel pictures. It sleeps even harder when I realise the kind of person I am. #lazy #wanderlust

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

Mom asking you to eat lauki ki sabzi is the perfect example of how people closest to you hurt you the most.

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

I am afraid of dark. Not because it's scary, because I can't find where I kept my food. #foodislife

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

My friends are so awesome at pranks that once they forgot my birthday for 4 years. LOL

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

Everytime my friends say that more gifts are coming for my birthday which was last week

Me: Why am I not surprised, yet?

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

First!

[Hemant Bhatt @HemBant]

@SteveCarell And then you wait for everyone to leave the house. "Children, leave the gun behind, dad needs to fix it" The Fart party begins.