Yesterday I sat in my car sobbing. And then again at a restaurant. And one more time at my desk last night (I was doing some emails before bed).
This bullying story has triggered me so much.
I know why.
And I wanted to share my story with you. Layered with perspective. Mine.
I was bullied. I have spoken about this before but maybe never to the extent of what I am about to tell you. Reliving this in my head has brought back so much trauma. It caused a 40-year-old man (who will still answer to 29) to sit in a restaurant with tears pouring down my face.
I was so young.
There were a few kids who really hated me. They didn’t like what was different about me. They didn’t understand it. But they didn’t like it. I was a little flamboyant. I didn’t like soccer. Or any sport really. My mannerisms weren’t manly enough. I was soft. Far too empathetic. Overly expressive. Dramatic.
A faggot.
I was also 6 or 7.
There is a whole narrative about hate being a learnt behaviour. And a serious question as to why a kid feels so threatened by another kid who is a little different. Like where does that stem from? Also, where did they learn that word from? I used that word specifically because that is what they called me. There’s also a much more complex issue about identity. I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me. And the world was telling me what I was. And making me feel like that thing, that they could see, and I could feel, was the worst thing about me. I guess that is why many gay guys (and people in the LGBTQIA+ community) have such an awful relationship with guilt, shame and pain. We are born from it. Our velvet rage.
I digress. Jammer Wimpie.
The bullying was mild. A look. Flapping wrists (at me). Words. "It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". You okes need new lines. Sticks and stones. A push here and there. Being excluded. Ostracized. And made to feel less than.
So what. I was brave. On most days. On others, I faked a tummy ache and stayed in the sick bay. Or at home. But I got through it.
Also, I need to add that not everyone treated me this way. I had really awesome friends. And bladdy fantastic teachers. Beautiful humans who protected me, as much as they could… until they couldn’t.
It was a hot summer’s day. I was 10 or 11. I can’t exactly remember. It’s always 11, isn’t it?
There I go again…
I was on the soccer field. I was playing with ladybugs. Those yellow and black ones. I loved those things… they don’t seem to be around anymore. A group of kids made their way towards me. I didn’t think anything of it. Until I was pinned down to the ground. All of them. They held me down. And the girls started kissing me. With tongue. They had planned to teach the “fag” a lesson. I had never kissed anyone before. I was so confused. I was so young. I kept trying to get them off me. To stop. I was screaming at the same time. Just trying to get them to stop.
They eventually did. But I guess my reaction wasn’t good enough.
And that’s when a little bit of sexual assault turned into a full-blown assault. They started to kick and punch me. They beat me black and blue.
Thankfully, they finally left me.
Lying there on the ground.
Bleeding.
A broken little boy.
When the teachers saw me, they phoned my mom immediately. She came to the school with the wrath of all the gods. My mom is a fucking lioness. Do not mess with her children. Any of them. You will see a different side to my kind, gentle, beautiful mom. She will end you.
I am not entirely sure what happened behind the scenes but the school took the situation very seriously. Something happened with all the kids. And their parents.
I was never bullied again. Not even a skeef look. It all stopped in its tracks.
I think you can connect the dots as to why that video so triggered me. By that kid desperately trying to get away. To get help. To go home.
But that’s not why I cried.
You see, I phoned my mom yesterday to talk to her about what happened. And when I got off the phone, I realised how incredibly lucky I am to have the mom I do. She has always been in my corner. She has always had my back. She made me believe that I was braver, stronger and had more potential than I could have ever imagined.
In a world that can be so tough, my mommy made me tougher.
My social media feeds have been filled with other moms, and dads, and humans who are all speaking up against the bullying.
And that’s what triggered me.
I felt so alone on that hot day, left on the field, bleeding and broken. And I guess there have been other moments where that “aloneness” has crept in. That trauma. But what left me in tears yesterday was this realisation that I was never alone. That I have never been alone. I have my mom. And my friends. And my family. And my peers.
And so do these kids who were bullied. ALL KIDS WHO ARE BULLIED.
They have an army of people who care.
You’ll notice I didn’t mention the school because I don’t believe this is a school-specific problem. Bullying happens everywhere. All the time. Even as grown-ups.
And this is where I was going with all of this.
If you’ve made it this far, then you’ve made it to the most important part.
To anyone who is at the receiving end of bullying, you are not alone. You have a whole pack of lions ready to help you. And more than anything, I want you to know that you will get through this, and even though it may change you, you will be okay.
And to the bullies… I hope one day you find the courage to look inward and understand the pain that made you want to hurt someone else. Because that’s what it is, isn’t it? Hurt people, hurting people. It doesn’t excuse it. Not even for a second, but maybe, just maybe, when you finally see the damage you’ve done, you’ll choose better. You’ll heal. You’ll grow.
You’ll learn that kindness costs nothing but it can save everything.
You see, that little boy didn’t stay broken. He grew up. Surrounded by kindness. He learnt that his softness wasn’t weakness. That his difference wasn’t danger. And that his empathy wasn’t something to be ashamed of. Those were the things that made him extraordinary. The very parts they tried to break became the parts that helped him heal others.
And maybe that’s the point.
Maybe the reason I cried wasn’t just because of the pain of what happened but because I can finally see the beauty that came from it. The love that surrounded me. The courage my mom taught me. The reminder that even when we might feel alone, bleeding and bruised, someone out there is roaring for us.
Roaring for YOU.
So if you’re that kid (or even that grown-up) who’s still trying to make sense of the hurt, please remember this: You are not broken. You are becoming. And one day, you’ll look back and realise that the thing they tried to silence was the thing that made you unstoppable.
I think I just turned a trigger into a glimmer.
Okay. Love you. Bye.
[NEWS]: Thobile Ngcamphalala becomes the first Black South African female student to graduate with a Master’s degree in Topology with Distinction at Rhodes University.
Thobile Ngcamphalala graduated with a Master’s degree in Pure Mathematics with Distinction. Her achievement marks a powerful moment in the story of academic excellence at Rhodes University.
Thobile began her studies through the extended curriculum programme. A route designed to support students who need more time and often comes with its own challenges. She used it as a foundation to rise — earning a BSc (Hons) in Pure Mathematics with Distinction and then completing her Master’s degree in just one year.
Pure Mathematics remains one of the most underrepresented fields for Black South African women. Thobile not only entered this space — she excelled. Her research paper was published in Applied General Topology, a DHET-accredited journal - she is the first author. This adds to her growing list of milestones.
She is now the first Black South African female student to graduate with a Master’s degree in Topology with Distinction, received at #RUGrad2025. A record she now holds — and one that will inspire others.
Her Master's supervisor, Dr Mbekezeli Nxumalo, reflected on her journey:
"Thobile’s story is one of perseverance, courage, and brilliance. She set her own pace and broke new ground. It was a privilege to walk beside her through this journey."
Thobile plans to register for her PhD in Pure Mathematics later this year. Her next chapter is already unfolding. From extended studies to published author. From underrepresented to unforgettable. Thobile, you didn’t just graduate — you made history!
This 'why do you care about a tiny fraction of the population?' line is, and always was, utterly ridiculous.
Gender ideology has undermined freedom of speech, scientific truth, gay rights, and women's and girls' safety, privacy and dignity. It's also caused irreparable physical damage to vulnerable kids.
Nobody voted for it, the vast majority of people disagree with it, yet it has been imposed, top down, by politicians, healthcare bodies, academia, sections of the media, celebrities and even the police. Its activists have threatened and enacted violence on those who've dared oppose it. People have been defamed and discriminated against for questioning it. Jobs have been lost and lives have been ruined, all for the crime of knowing that sex is real and matters.
When the smoke clears, it will be only too evident that this was never about a so-called vulnerable minority, notwithstanding the fact that some very vulnerable people have been harmed. The power dynamics underpinning our society have been reinforced, not dismantled. The loudest voices throughout this entire fiasco have been people insulated from consequences by their wealth and/or status. They aren't likely to find themselves locked in a prison cell with a 6'4" rapist who's decided his name's now Dolores. They don't need state-funded rape crisis centres, nor do they ever frequent high street changing rooms. They simper from talk show sofas about those nasty far-right bigots who don't want penises swinging around the girls' showers, secure in the knowledge that their private pool remains the safe place it always was.
Those who've benefited most from gender identity ideology are men, both trans-identified and not. Some have been rewarded for having a cross-dressing kink by access to all spaces previously reserved for women. Others have parlayed their delicious new victim status into an excuse to threaten, assault and harass women. Non-trans-identified leftybros have found a magnificent platform from which to display their own impeccably progressive credentials, by jeering and sneering at the needs of women and girls, all while patting themselves on the back for giving away rights that aren't theirs.
The actual victims in this mess have been women and children, especially the most vulnerable, gay people who've resisted the movement and paid a horrible price, and regular people working in environments where one misplaced pronoun could see you vilified or constructively dismissed. Do not tell me this is about a tiny minority. This movement has impacted society in disastrous ways, and if you had any sense, you'd be quietly deleting every trace of activist mantras, ad hominem attacks, false equivalence and circular arguments from your X feeds, because the day is fast approaching when you'll want to pretend you always saw through the craziness and never believed it for a second.
@artslinkcoza Dear TJ, James Delaney pointed me in your direction concerning a sundial. I'm looking to commission one for a special event. Can you please assist? James referred to the sundial in The Wilds
If I wasn’t voting for Rise Mzansi already, this would have sealed the deal for me. Absolutely spot on, no notes.
Songezo Zibi | It is time to listen to the buzzer of democracy again https://t.co/MzqTetZBAa
If you live in Kensington or surrounding areas please join us and meet the @Rise_Mzansi team this evening at 6pm at the Kensington Bowling Club 8 Ivanhoe St in Kensington. Come and learn more about @Rise_Mzansi and their policies as we work towards a better future together.
AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN, day after day after day with no intervention from @JoburgMPD this happens. Cars double park at this busy intersection and leave their vehicles to go in to the take aways and cause HAVOC with traffic completely blocking one lane . Please do something!
All this talk about architectural "style", but maybe the most important thing isn't so much how we build as what we build with.
Materials affect how we feel and think, and they totally change how cities and buildings look.
This is why materials matter...
We all know Joburg is fucked up. And if we are to fix it – it’s not enough to to say “I love Joburg”. Jozi My Jozi is an unlikely coalition preparing to shake up the inner city in the best possible way. If you read only one story today, make it this: https://t.co/xr8wnGU4ck
“The greatest gay victory.” That’s what the newly founded National Gay Task Force called the 1973 @apa resolution to strike homosexuality from its list of mental disorders. #MakingGayHistory
Listen to episode 2 of "Dismantling a Diagnosis" now: https://t.co/4LHsujGnLT
It's Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.
The last couple of years have been incredibly tough, relentlessly traumatic and even though it's the festive season, I know it is not the happiest time for everyone.
So first off, I am sorry if you are feeling sad. I really am. It sucks and you shouldn't be and I'm not sure my words will comfort you but I want you to know that you are loved and that you will be okay - maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow - but you need to know you will be okay.
We can't have you losing hope, now can we?
Remember what Christmas is… tenderness for the past, courage for the present and hope for the future. That's how we get Christmas in our hearts, by acknowledging those 3 things. And love, of course. Loving loud. That loud, loud love!
That's also my next point.
I want to remind you that you have people who love you. You really do! There are so many people who care about you, and they will help you in ways that you can't even imagine right now. I promise you this. Reach out if you're feeling sad. Phone that friend. Send that message. Put the word out. Cause there will always be a hand to grab.
And please learn to be kinder to yourself.
Be gentle with your thoughts. Whisper purposefully to yourself while providing assurance that you really are extending your best effort this year. Console your bruised and tender spirit with reminders of many other successes. Offer comfort in practical and tangible ways - as if you were encouraging your dearest friend.
Cause you really are a dear friend.
Sending you so much love and light and Christmas feelings from my heart today. To anyone who reads this.
Tenderness.
Courage.
Hope.
And the loudest love.
That's it.
Okay. Love you. Bye.