Cults require too much ‘together’ time, and as a person who enjoys their solitude and not listening to a man speak for too long, I know I would be excommunicated within a week.
Never let anyone gaslight you into thinking intellectual mismatch is not a thing in romantic relationships. It's not even about formal degrees or booksmarts. It shows up in things like curiousity, conversational depth, imagination, openness, and worldviews.
I think the unspoken layer here (BW x hair) is that a lot of these conversations are being driven by women who had to arrive at loving their hair, and because of that, they treat that arrival like a moral position instead of a personal journey.
So now there’s a hierarchy.