H. Wolff

✍🏾Writer of LGBT fiction who likes birds a lot | 5 ducks—Mr. Man (drake), Spice (pfp) Ace Phoenix Wright, Goldie, and Gator

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

My girl's memorial painting

Rest easy, pretty girl. The flock has a big gap without you.

[Cute Blue💙OPEN COMMISSIONS💙 @CuteBlueUwU]

Commission!! Sunni 🦆🍉

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@MeekyBlinders Make sure he doesn't eat anything green off the tomato plant! Can potentially be toxic

My girl loved a ripe tomato herself

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

Learned last night a friend got back with his abuser and brought someone else along, too

I am calmly letting my roomies know that if I see him at all in any way it's on sight. Idc if he's their friend. Anyone who hurts my friends makes me violently enraged

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

On a better note, I have two events lined up for next year, so the hopelessness is waning

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

I'm almost pre-diabetic

Man. I live to eat. Major wrench

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@undeadromxnce They made a movie where this is the case and the guy has like a zipper on his abdomen or something

Please someone here tell me they know this movie lmao

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@SplatoonGrandma @TayZonday Respect to Tay but he gotta tweak the chatgpt output a little more than this

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@0k_kay @phonebabie @the_moral_abc I pulled a version of this out face-to-face once. Told a customer we didn't have a specific item in stock and he got so mad at me. Explained a little more, got nowhere, then asked "Is there anything I can do to help you rn?"

He said no so I walked away lmao

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@jacksfilms Homeboy was tipsy af

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@WinRAR_RARLAB I bought it in like 2010 or something but my computer got reformatted and I lost the activation key

You're not gettin me twice!!

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

The ducks went from hating the kibble to actively selecting it out of the mix

It's nutritionally complete so it's fine regarding their health, but I really want to get through the other food we have, too lmao

It's amazing how dextrous a bill can be

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@h0shiNohate Accidentally did this with one of my ducks, but instead of binner it's lonch

[ゆんま @yunmabeat]

きゅうりウマウマ

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@Zeroes_King Ariados, Mothim, Dustox, Venonat

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@auroralchorus @nosisterwars They tried to note your post for this lmfao

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

Goldie is a silly bird. 90% of the time she chooses to squeak instead of quack, but when she does quack, it's fully Donald duck

Gator, the smallest, likes to yell and is the most regularly loud. When Goldie starts, though, her volume matches Spice bird who's 3x larger than her

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

I'm actually touched that he cared to look for me. He's imprinted but has been very aggressive lately (assuming hormone season+babies), but within the last couple days he's started playfully chasing my feet again

Finally getting the playful version of that menace-monster back

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

There's a camera in the duck pen that has a mic feature. I just used it for the first time ever and Mr. Man was the only one who cared. He immediately started looking around and glanced up at the camera

Why did it take him 4.5 years to develop intelligence?

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

Old people will hit 75 and then experience the spiritual version of the call of the void

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

@TemmieMew Some pekin ducks in there too

[H. Wolff @HMWritten]

One problem with using a specific whistle to train the ducks: nobody else in the family has the ability to mimic it. It's also the "come out of the kennel" noise, so when they don't do the whistle correctly, the babies stay in the open kennel for a minute lmfao