Matt Hokanson

If it's not on a plate it can wait - Team Rocket

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Hot weather got me craving dobas mango salsa

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Anyone else want to throw twinkies into a high speed fan?

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Changing the name of amorphous solid to thiccquid

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Are phones with flappy bird still expensive or am I feeling old today

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

If you shuffle cards by mixing them all in a pile you best be over the age of 10

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Waffles are so much better than pancakes

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Why do people hear lemon pepper and instantly think it's the greatest thing ever

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

My boss just asked me what Dave and Busters was cuz his wife wanted to go..

How do you not know??

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Superbowl streaker just lost his fantasy football league #SuperBowlLV #fantasy #fantasyfootball

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Car seats need a food button for extra heat

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

@A13XWRIGHT12 Have you tried it though

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

I d-stem my spinach on my sandwiches

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

@Kaylamos_17 Was a rhetorical question

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Why do my jokes only work on parents

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Parents put my brother and I in charge of Thanksgiving drinks and we spent $100 on alcohol..

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

When something goes wrong in your life yell PLOT TWIST and move on - unknown

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

@rayhil21 This is false on so many levels

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Miami's Xmas tree game is weak. I've seen minimum ten trees on cars and they're all shorter than 6 feet. Pathetic

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

Me: slaps some color in my excel

Coworker: WoOow can I copy your format??

[Matt Hokanson @Hokasaurus]

When you run out of mouthwash is it okay to use peppermint schnapps? Tis the season 🎄