The School Office

The things you want to say....but don’t because you want to keep your job. Serial tongue biter and eye roller with a posh telephone voice.

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Ah, you want to go on a visit with zero notice during the busiest term of the year? Of course we’re not doing anything and can arrange that for you 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

@SBMCheshireWest Udemy

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Summer term. When the school office are still running around like headless chickens, busier than ever, if not more so whilst the rest of school starts winding down. #joy #yesiambusy #noidonthaveaminute

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

No “school office of the year” in the @tes school awards 2019. Could you imagine a school without resources and stationery?! The fairies don’t deliver it!! https://t.co/EASdWQebXX #undervalued #weworktheretoo #whodoestheprep

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Oh dear, your little darling didn’t get a lead part in the nativity play. No we can’t reconsider. Yes the part has been given to someone else already...Mary was quite an integral part of the Christmas story #nativity #Christmas #Mary #givemestrength

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

So for seven days in a row, your children are late because “the alarm didn’t go off”. May we suggest purchasing a new alarm ... or maybe just setting the current one as it doesn’t set itself? #usererror #youretheadult

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

We will let you know when tickets are available for the Christmas plays....asking every single day will make me slower, not faster #havepatience #yourenotmypriority

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Ah, you missed the 3 emails, 2 texts, social media updates and the past 4 newsletters....yes your child may dress up for #ChildrenInNeed. Yes there is a 50p donation. No, school are not making “loads of money”...it’s for charity 🤦‍♀️😒Yes, it does make it non-uniform #duh

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Monday morning...3 irate parents in reception at 8:45am because no one has responded to the emails they sent over the weekend 🤦‍♀️ How dare we not be working 24/7 #yesreally #youcannotbeserious #officeproblems

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Ah, you’re calling because no one’s replied to the email you sent 4 hours ago. It is only 10am...we have more than one parent and more important things to do other than answer your query about what’s on next weeks lunch menu. #checkthewebsite 🤦‍♀️

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

@squashykat Ah yes. We have those....they generally start “We’ve all had it. I couldn’t move off the toilet on blah blah blah...sore bottom...” 😳 we don’t need to know!!!

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

We do not need a nine minute conversation with you about your child being ill. We are not doctors and cannot give medical advice. Please do not ignore the “press 1 to report a pupil absence” option. Leave a voicemail #nothard

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Yes, we can see the rain. Yes, I’m sure your child is getting wet....they will not melt however may we recommend you insist they wear a coat? 🧥 #PFB #rain #commonsensehasleftthebuilding

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Yes, parents evenings are ten minute slots per pupil. No you cannot book more than one...teachers have a home to go to as well #parentsevening #sendwine

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Yes....school has started back today. No we didn’t “do it on purpose” so your little darlings couldn’t watch the fireworks. #really #priorities

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

I see. So you want to add things to the stationery order. Is that the order that was placed a fortnight ago? Oh you remember me reminding you but you did nothing about it 😒 #officeproblems

[The School Office @HonestSchOffice]

Of course I’ll tell you the date we break up - you must have missed the past two months’ newsletters. And emails. And texts. #readthemessages #schoolholidays #stupidquestions