mads

gifted child turned feral adult who accidentally became insightful

[mads @HoochyMami]

Plan b but no condoms. Whoever has stocked this machine has accepted humanity as it is.

[mads @HoochyMami]

I refuse to believe raisins were the intended outcome.

[mads @HoochyMami]

@anniebaexquie As a person re learning how to walk in heels, fk off?

[mads @HoochyMami]

Something about shrimp feels arrogant.

[mads @HoochyMami]

The phrase “state bird” implies competition.

[mads @HoochyMami]

I think if I was a horse I’d be evil.

[mads @HoochyMami]

People who meal prep are seeing a future I simply can not access.

[mads @HoochyMami]

And sorry flat earthers, but for the sake of this fan fic, EARTH IS ROUND AND VOLUPTUOUS.

[mads @HoochyMami]

Every map is technically fan art of earth. Should I write an earth fan fic….. I can make it extra slutty???

[mads @HoochyMami]

Every map is technically fan art of earth. Should I write an earth fan fic….. I can make it extra slutty???

[mads @HoochyMami]

The thing about reading philosophy is eventually you realize half the books are just men inventing increasingly elaborate ways to explain why they’re unhappy.

[mads @HoochyMami]

There is absolutely no reason for pomegranates to be that complicated.

[mads @HoochyMami]

@Dearme2_ Went on a walk.

[mads @HoochyMami]

Every crush I have starts with ‘they seem smart’ and ends with me needing to be sedated.

[mads @HoochyMami]

I don’t think I have commitment issues. I think I have an accurate understanding of how often people disappoint me.

[mads @HoochyMami]

Women are expected to have careers, hobbies, emotional intelligence, a skincare routine, and a will to live. I can maintain approximately two of these at any given time.

[mads @HoochyMami]

I don’t want to be mysterious. I want to be deeply understood and left alone.

[mads @HoochyMami]

One of the strangest parts of getting older is realizing the adults you admired were just people trying very hard.

[mads @HoochyMami]

Geese absolutely know what they’re doing.

[mads @HoochyMami]

I think the problem with adulthood is nobody notices when you’re doing a good job.

[mads @HoochyMami]

@unspoclit Your body is meant to look like it has participated in your life. I’ve literally never seen a pair of tits in my life that I didn’t appreciate seeing.