Archbishop Deshaies

Recipient of the 2023 Orel Hershiser Lifetime Achievement Award for Online Sportsmanship. (Also, God gives His toughest battles to His strongest warriors.)

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Her: You're a writer?
Me: *rolls eyes* yes.
Her: The artistic type! What genre?
Me: *takes a puff of a cigarette* Astros Erotic Fan Fiction

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

This place is a fucking disaster. Lol

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

@SWLVguy I start with the For You every time.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

I feel like the purpose of X is to just make everyone angry with each other.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Is there a way to delete the “For You” timeline? The accounts I follow are the only ones I want to see.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

@bionicdoctor1 Sadly!

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Is there a way to delete the “For You” timeline? The accounts I follow are the only ones I want to see.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

There are Mattress Firms everywhere.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Supported by all demographics in Texas? Okay, let’s make it official and vote on the mother fucker.

[Greg Abbott @GregAbbott_TX]

School choice is supported by all demographics in Texas.

Texans of all backgrounds, including Black & Hispanic parents, strongly support school choice.

School choice improves educational opportunities for minority & low-income students.

Texas will deliver school choice.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Let’s do like Kentucky and put this bitch to a vote?

[Dan Patrick @DanPatrick]

I have fought for school choice since my time as a Senator. As Lt. Governor, I passed it in my first session and repeatedly since then. Each time, the Republican-led House blocked it. Now, after hard-fought primary and general election battles, the House should finally have the votes to pass it. Read the press release for more details.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

@Shane29008046 He’s popular and both republicans and democrats like him. People in Kentucky aren’t as dumb as you think.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

By the way, I’m on…blue…sky.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Dunkstronaut is better.

[Houston Rockets @HoustonRockets]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒-𝟐𝟓 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎��� 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐒 🏆

Coming soon to the Houston hardwood!

Commemorating 30 years of back-to-back greatness.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

RIP, Chauncy Glover, who got my vote for the most yoked newscaster in Houston.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Who's the most yoked newscaster in Houston?

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Houston Astros
West Sacramento A’s
Dallas Rangers
Anaheim Angels
Sodom Mariners

Other than the Astros, this division is a geographical mess.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

@BravesGasm

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Me when my mom tweets from my account:

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Damn, Mark.

[Mark Berman @MarkBerman_]

Seeing the Dodgers celebrate is disgusting, but watching the Yankees turn into choking dogs lessens the sting.

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

Cue Kevin Jomboy selling Dodgers merchandise. Goofy ass bitch

[Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot]

@ABQJournal Get the money upfront this time.