House Munny

lover, fighter

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@Jason @cavsdan You do know you are the asshole on this one, right? Every home team would want their courtside seats protected rather than given to the opponents’ fans in a big game. Weird blind spot for you.

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@jjcoop36 Better question is why would you want to

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@ProV1Smile @enosarris Airport beer not being in the top 5 is disqualifying

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@johnewing It’s a bus bro

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

More of this. Every time they appear. Constantly. Fuck ICE forever.

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@conksresearch Hope that helps

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@FOX19Jeremy @ProFootballDoc @FOX19 I apologize, Turf Toe I was not familiar with your game

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@JOEL9ONE I’m surrounded by assholes

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@umphreysmcgee Woah. No crossouts.

[Eyup Lovely @eyuplovely]

The em dash becoming a signifier of ChatGPT generated text has been a shot through the heart for people who sometimes need to shake up a comma heavy sentence and those who feel pretty sure they know when to use a semicolon but generally still steer clear of it just in case

[Garry Kasparov @Kasparov63]

Lost elections are rigged, won elections are fair. Good job numbers are real, bad ones are fake. Sex trafficking is bad, unless the traffickers will blame your enemies. Crime is bad, unless the criminals are pro-Trump. This isn’t 4D chess, or even tic-tac-toe, just Autocracy 101.

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

God rn

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

this is his dad’s karma for the Giannis thing sorry not sorry

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@baltimoresun @Buster_ESPN Basallo time!

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@DeItaone

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@93XRT @umphreysmcgee In The Kitchen
#FreeFormChicago
#InsideChicago

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@notthefakeSVP We meet on Wednesdays

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@pattonoswalt @criterionchannl @Criterion @SeanFennessey

[House Munny @HouseMunny]

@pattonoswalt You don’t get a birthday for 56