Girlfriend hired movers and within 10 mins of getting to the house they fell through the front door opening with the 65” TV and then used an entire roll of toilet paper after christening the basement bathroom
*interupting someone I just met at the bar chewing gum telling me a story*
“Hey man before you continue your story do you mind if i have a bite of your gum? I am starving.”
Just graduated from Harvard Law school with honors and am happy to annouce I have accepted a job as a copyright defense lawyer for a company called “I’m Shmacked” thank you to the professors, university, and everyone else who helped me get this far! Couldn’t have done it alone
Showing up to meet your girlfriends family for the first time with smeared face paint on because you had to rush to make it in time from your shift at spirit halloween