Hunter Allen

He/Him | Deep thoughts from a shallow mind...

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming https://t.co/naHE4vc9Hm

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

Amen

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

🔥WATCH: “It is an abomination that the Bible is used consistently on this floor… God didn’t say love everybody except the people you don’t like.” 🏳️‍🌈 (cc: @GovBillLee @TNGOP)

Rep. @stevensonspeaks dropping truth bombs up in Kentucky that Tennessee needs to hear 💣

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

Hey @Apple how do you release an iOS update that requires that I change to English (UK) to do talk to text?? Isn’t delivering technology that works basically your only job??

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

Being a parent of idiots — I mean young adults — means your son has to Venmo his sister $10 because she won their bet by depositing a pizza crust in your wife’s pocketbook. 😑

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

@BankofAmerica your customer service is so severely lacking I’m speechless. I’m calling as I watch fraud being perpetrated in real-time and you put me on hold for 75 minutes and counting. Pathetic. #bankofamerica #fraud

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

To all the remaining living anti-maskers and vaccine conspiracy theorists — seriously go fuck yourselves. You’ll be the first dipshits to protest the reinstatement of masks and quarantines in the Fall and you’ll remain too fucking stupid to realize you did it to yourselves.

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

I'd like to congratulate @Optimum. Trying to get customer service is such a time suck that I'm about to pay $172 I don't owe, for service we didn't receive, to an apartment where my son hadn't lived for 8 months, with equipment we had already returned.
#optimumsucks

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

Beautiful scenes from my favorite place, by my favorite artist @tessalllen ❤️⛱
#lbi @ Long Beach Island, New Jersey https://t.co/rb9iiXuN2w

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

@carterrr_allen Silly, I’m not bisexual because I like Phoebe Bridgers. I like Phoebe Bridgers because I’m bisexual. 👍

[Adobe @Adobe]

She’s one of the most decorated athletes ever — and a designer, entrepreneur, and investor. Now, Serena Williams is hitting the virtual stage at #AdobeSummit. Register now for this free event: https://t.co/nMmSaVCG46

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

90% of all Valentines Day cards available to purchase for your wife (paraphrased):
“Sorry I’m such a non-communicative, self-absorbed dick to you the other 364 days of the year but it really means I love you.” 🙄

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

@TIME is this bullshit pseudo-scientific magazine/advertisement something you folks endorse or are these guys blatantly using your logo for profit??

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

@HawleyMO @simonschuster Read the room dipshit. Jesus.

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

C’mon folks, I know we all type quickly, but “loose” and “lose” just aren’t the same word. 😑

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

@PeterBordes This story just keeps on giving...https://t.co/9KyErWzLBO

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

My congratulations to @cindymccain who has firmly and forever established herself as a woman not to be fucked with. What draft-dodgers like DT will never understand is that true warriors and heroes always have spouses that are equally badass and forever loyal.

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

Hey Jared, if you look around the room for the arrogant, racist, entitled douchebag and you can’t find him, it’s probably you.

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

WOW... Kushner says Trump’s policies would help “complaining” black people — “but he can’t want them to be successful more than they want to be successful.”

🤔🤔🤔🤔

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

@carterrr_allen I'm adopted???🥺

[Hunter Allen @HunterAllen2]

Did anyone time how long the fly was stuck to his head?? 😂😂😂😂