Hyacinthroro

[Cupcake “Cuppy” 😍😍😍 @Hlela_Lulubel]

This is also required eCheckers and PnP for those cashiers who only smile for abelungu😭😭

[MphoYavhuḓi 👸🏽 @MYavhudi]

A prayer to start the day 🙏🏾

Dear God,

Thank You for waking me up with purpose on this Sunday morning. I trust that today holds miracles, peace, and divine alignment. Walk with me in every moment. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen 🙏🏾

[Nompumelelo Marawule @NMarawule]

“For I know the plans I have for you”

Jeremiah 29:11❤️

[Pumlani Luthuli @LuthuliPumz]

Good morning everybody,

Remember, God made sure that you wake up today because He gave you grace to survive, succeed, conquer, and thrive on this day.

Believe it!!!

[MaMhlanga Nompumelelo @Mpumiln]

Morning made. Women and money, a match made by God himself 😭🤣🤣🤣

[Mankhumiše 🤍 @Ms_Logical]

First time I've seen Word and Excel dancing

[Mankhumiše 🤍 @Ms_Logical]

I’m looking for a ridiculously old name for a boy. Think grandfather type of name. Very old and rare.

[T. @__T_touch]

Last year mom found out dad was cheating on her, woman cried kukubi my dad didn't know what to do naye then my youngest sister (19) said to my mom "manje uzokhala kuze kube nini because uzophinda, zilungise ufune eyakho iBoyfriend because kucacile awufuni ukumlahla" 😂😂😂 I scrome. my mom stopped crying and the room was dead silent ama 2000 are brave bazalwane.

[Bee 🐝 @beemyli]

The waiter came over.

“Dessert?”

I looked at my date.

“No, thank you.”

Then I looked at the waiter.

“Just the bill.”

My date laughed nervously.

“So that’s it?”

I stood up.

“Yep.”

“Because I asked why you’re single?”

“No.”

I smiled.

“Because you made being married sound like an achievement and being single sound like a punishment.”

Then I walked away.

[Bee 🐝 @beemyli]

“No.”

I took a sip of wine.

“That sounds expensive.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“What does that mean?”

“It means being single costs me nothing.”

I paused.

“Marrying the wrong person could cost me everything.”

He went silent.

Then he said:

“You have a very negative view of marriage.”

“No.”

I smiled.

“I have a very positive view of my life.”

[Bee 🐝 @beemyli]

Five minutes into our first date, he asked:

“How are you still single?”

I laughed.

“I don’t know. Why are you?”

He looked offended.

“I’m asking seriously.”

“So am I.”

He leaned forward.

“You’re attractive. You seem educated. You have your life together.”

“Thank you.”

“So what’s wrong?”

I smiled.

“Nothing.”

“Then why hasn’t anyone married you?”

“I’ve never needed marriage badly enough to accept anyone.”

He laughed.

“That sounds arr0gant.”

[Thembisile Q II 🇿🇦 @ThembisileQ21]

Good morning tweethearts

[First Doctor @FirstDoctor]

6-YEAR-OLD BOY: Dad, I’ve decided to get married!

DAD: Wonderful; you have a girl in mind?

BOY: Yes; Grandma! She said she loves me and I love her too.. and she’s the best cook and storyteller in the whole world.

DAD: 🙁

BOY: What's the problem?

DAD: She happens to be my mother; how can you marry my mother?

BOY: Why not? You married mine! 🤣🤣🤣

Kids are just so innocent!!😆😭🤣

[Blackbone🧡💙💚 @EmmiieTLO]

Meet Londy Ngcobo, she is the first woman in Africa to steer and control a ship 🛳️ Let's celebrate her 💃🏽❤️💯

[𝙺𝚊𝙼𝚊𝚕𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚔𝚊🦄 @Sizi_phiwe]

You fucked her? Keep it to yourself. She sent you nudes to satisfy you? Keep it to yourself. You fucked her the first day you met? Keep it to yourself. Don’t go around talking crazy, acting like a 15-year-old who just discovered something new. That’s not how a man moves.

Real men don’t talk too much.

[Mike Bales™ 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

A guy goes to City Hall to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"OK, have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Iraq for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. You can start tomorrow at 10 a.m. and plan on starting at 10 a.m. every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., why don't you want me here until 10 a.m.?"

"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off, I'll hold your monkey for you."

[Mike Bales™ 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

George, a 72-year-old retired man, was relaxing in his recliner when his wife, Martha, walked in and said,

“Honey, could you please help me clean the garden?”

George didn’t even look away from the TV. “Do I look like a gardener?”

Martha sighed. “All right then… can you at least fix the bathroom door?”

George scoffed, “Do I look like a carpenter?”

With that, he grabbed his hat and walked out.

A few hours later, George came back home and was shocked.

The garden was spotless, the door was perfectly fixed.

He smiled proudly and said, “See, Martha? I always knew you could handle things yourself!”

Martha crossed her arms. “I didn’t do it.”

George blinked. “Then who did?”

“Our neighbor John,” she said casually.

George frowned. “Oh… how much did you pay him?”

Martha smirked. “Didn’t cost a thing. He gave me two options—either bake him fresh bread… or spend some ‘quality time’ with him.”

George nearly dropped his cane. “Well, I sure hope you baked him some bread!”

Martha raised an eyebrow and said, “George… do I look like a baker?”

[🇿🇦 Londiwe Cebekhulu 🇿🇦 @Candy_Thusi]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣