Mo

phoenix dark... dirk.... dirk-dark... i was christened dirk steele but changed it to phoenix...

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

@Savannah_ugan Use the force.

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

@Savannah_ugan Trolly

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

After years of shitty men taking advantage of me I’m laying on the couch while my boyfriend brings me cheese and crackers without me asking... #worthTheWait #datbachelorettewife

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

I got a glitter screen protector and it. Is. Lyfeeeeeee. 😭✨

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

Last week...
Bae: “whatcha wanna do?”
Me: “play pool.”

Last night...
Bae: “what do you wanna do for v-day?”
Me: “play pool.”
#easyLikeSundayMorning

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

Me:”who is your celebrity crush!?”
Bae: “uhhh.....”
Me: “MINE IS SIR ISAAC NEWTON!!!!!!!!!!”

#homeschooledTweets

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

Last night i made my boyfriend Korean spicy ramen. he literally was sweating bullets, turned white as a ghost, at the whole thing and at the end he said ‘that was so good!’... that’s real love, guys.

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

I'm honestly not even remorseful about watching this tbh. I deserve it.

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

I'm sorry, if I told a vamp I couldn't dance and then he said he could make me I'd make hella excuses and avoid the shit outta him.

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

I will now be live tweeting my thoughts on twilight as they occur. #twilight #latetotheparty

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

@ZEHarrell THEY COME IN SMALLER!!!!! https://t.co/1SOG028ZX9

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

Every freaking day. https://t.co/11nbAiq2rq

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

Eating chicken nuggets is v different from pan frying chicken thighs. #thingsilearnedtoday

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

My days off general look like me slumming in my bed stalking my friends on social media.

#CreeperLifeHack

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

Me: I wish someone would dream about me...nobody ever does.
My crush: right??
Me: well, I mean... I dream about you...
C:*awk laugh*

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

Waking up after last night like...

"Did I just cheat on my husband? OHMYGOD!!!"

#TheMorningAfter #ElectionDay

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

My cousin is from Alaska and told me that they refer to the states below Canada as "the lower 48".

Sometimes I accidentally say "lower 25"

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

That moment you realize you're sucked into the fringe world... And you're ok with it.

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

Like "I'm going to give you the most delicious meal but I'm going to do it in 4ths so you have to friggin' work for it."

[Mo @HypotheticalMo]

Cheeseburger sliders have to be the most counterintuitive things to have ever been invented.