Sam Welch

2020 #1 draft pick in flip cup, waiting on Chris Young to notice me, Hooch’s and Dori’s mom, loves mozzarella sticks.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Scary part of RSV is it can take a turn quickly so here I am perched up with my hand lamp making sure she’s breathing normal.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Sutton is down bad with flu A and rsv. Started out, oh you ate something and it upset your stomach to every noise idk which end it’s coming from. RIP car seat. You were a faithful soldier. But I can’t un-smell you. Sutty getting upgraded.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Before motherhood one thing I took for granted…taking a shower whenever I damn well pleased. Now you plan it before they wake up or when they pass out.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

I’m so just defeated. Mr Willie and the Calvary are going out on golf carts at day break. I told myself make sure to grab the keys. And I just begged they would get stuck in the trunk crevice.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Nothing more humbling than putting your keys on top of your car to strap the baby in her car seat. To telling yourself don’t forget those and in-fact losing them going down 280. You know the area but you left your head lamp back at the crib.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

I had a “my real baby” and it’s not like the ones today but my brother, Tyler drew all over it with pen so when I got old enough to ask questions.. I immediately wanted to know why I didn’t have super black nipples 😂😂😂 I thought I was the odd ball.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

I remember to my childhood of things I was attached to and drumroll it was LambChop and Dill Pickles doll that my parents took the batteries out.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Sutton is asleep. I stole her crusty dusty and musty loveys and they are in the washing machine. The sitters are welcome. She seasons them. I’m not a bad mom. She’s gonna be pissed off when they are clean. She will ignore them tomorrow. GoOd LuCk.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Alright you guys I’m backkkkkk. Q

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Watching her open gifts today made my heart triple in size. She’s my girl and she’s all mine. But Santa is so glad it’s over. I worried so long if she would like things I gifted her.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Sutton woke me up and now she’s asleep in my bed kicking me and breathing on me. I can’t sleep but damn I wish she would have brought snacks. I can’t move because her leg is across my throat. Can’t wake the beast.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Also sorry to all the people I pissed off with my surveys on MySpace. I would stayyyy ruining someone’s day.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

I don’t always tweet but when I do ……I be chirping.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Lol I always do “wow that’s looks perfect. Are you free Friday night?” Leaves them speechless every time and then I toot my own horn.

[tete @teelooneyy]

when i get an oil change & they show me the oil stick thing like… ok???😭😭

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Sutton calls me Pretty Girl and then we dance.

[Cairo Mathebula @Cairo_Mathebula]

Being a mom looks like so much work, I think I’m gonna be the first female father.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

I had a slight mental breakdown today for my sweet dad. The world doesn’t deserve him.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Honestly I’m proud to say I have never consumed a McRib. Sorry Mickey d’s but I just can’t. But a McDouble hates to see me coming.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

A loaf of sandwich bread hates to see Sutton coming. Also hit me up for all of your basic bread ideas. Sutton thinks I’m Lady Jesus with my buttered bread.

[Sam Welch @IAm_SamW]

Honestly not for taking a life but hey 3rd Franco we didn’t know we needed.