I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️

#USMC Veteran, Lover of #CraftBeer, #NFL, #WWE, & #BBQ - My tweets are 98% nonsense.

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

Hey everybody, I just finished the 30 day yoga challenge and it was easier than I expected. In fact, I bet I could go another 30 days without doing yoga.

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

I’m not saying my fart stank, but I walked into my own fart cloud and saw the devil.

Ok, it stank.

Like, really bad.

[Bob Heller @Bob_Heller]

Del Taco is just a regular taco with Del's dick in it.

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

@TayConti_ Can I “heart” this more than once?

[Smith @SmithCommaJane]

Wait .....how do the citizens of Gotham call Batman in the daytime?

[Piece @Piecezilla]

[yelling over the music as we dance] I SAID, IF THIS WAS A TUESDAY I'DVE ALREADY BEEN ASLEEP FOR 4 HOURS

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

I can tell you’re jealous of me by the way you count your Monopoly money when I pass Go.

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

@YaOnlyLivvOnce Can I profess my undying love to you now, or later?

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

@RealPaigeWWE Please oh please come back. You made every thing better.

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

@LaceyEvansWWE Semper Fi!

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

I’m not saying I’m more of man than you, but the force of my urine stream lifted me off the ground.

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

Me: *calls Kenny*
Come on, come on, pick up!
Kenny! I messed up, man!
I started counting my money while sitting at the table and everybody is staring at me!
I don’t know when to run!
WHEN DO I RUN, KENNY?
I’m gonna run, man, I’m gonna run!
*starts running*

Kenny: Who is this?

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

@AmericanIdol I can’t believe you let go of Murphy! Why? Why? Why!

Horrible mistake.

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

Me: I remember when people used to care about what I sa...

Waitress: *walks away, mid sentence, without my drink order*

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

@TheBoydP With your first single being “Concerningly Dumb”?

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

@TayConti_ Ok, can I buy that poster?

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Direct Deposit: $1,400.
Me: *Asks JLo out on a date*

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

Him: So how many times have you farted on my pillow.

Me: Just enough to give you double pink eye.

Him: *eyes glued shut with gunk* If I could see right now...

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

@BiancaBelairWWE Yes!!! Finally! You deserve it!

[Bob Heller @Bob_Heller]

[The Adventures of Mammal Man and Squid Dick]

MAMMAL MAN (jumping out of his Mazda and waving): Hello...

SQUID DICK (pointing at his own crotch): Look at my disgusting dick

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

I dreamed Harry had sex with the Sorting Hat.

His dick was Slytherin.