Good Luck Gary

Good Luck Gary, His luck never runs out
Mayor Of Rack City

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Has 99 problems. Just kidding bitches ain't no problem

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Party gets busted by cops. 21 jump street guys

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Male cheerleader. People still think he's cool

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Balls so hard! Motherfuckers don't wanna fine him #thatshitcray

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Skips football game. Played for Marshall

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Plays soccer. Guys still think he's tough

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Goes to abstinence convention. Still gets laid

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Writes a book his friends call gay. Twilight

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Creates imaginary girlfriend. Gets laid

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Girl tells him her friend is hot. Friend is actually hot

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Pulled over for road dome. Cop gives him props

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Always a nice guy. Always finishes first

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Picks lebron. Gets ring

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Already skips 6 songs on pandora. Skips another

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Throws nothing but underhand floaters. Pitches perfect game

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Death comes and knocks on his door. Convinces him he has the wrong address

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Passes cop going 90. Cop pulls over the car he went around

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Gets boner in class. Kids show nothing but respect

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Doesn't say anything funny. Still retweeted

[Good Luck Gary @IAmGoodLuckGary]

Votes Ron Paul. Ron Paul actually becomes president