blaine the conqueror 

Blaine | Double Eagle Alumnus | BSPH | MPH |

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

Lmao to this very day my mama hates that line 😂

[✦☽Ҝ𝔞☥☥✦| Comms Open! @KattNippxo]

“Do you know what happens to a Toad when it’s struck by Lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.” 10 year old me SCREAMED. ⚡️

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

99% of my tweets are from drunk me

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

“piNeAapLe DoESn’T bELoNG 0n PiZzA
Grow up, you’re being performative. Have you even tried pineapple, jalapeño, feta, beef, and pepperoni cause it’s life changing and Dominos is running a deal on any crust with up to 7 ingredients rn and it’s divine

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

Fellas, get some girls and/or gays+ in your inner circle. Straights take 3-5 business days to reply in an emotional spiral and your calls will go to voicemail.

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

Viva México 🇲🇽

[H @IfeanyiEmm34386]

The tomato I took off my burger watching me put ketchup on it

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

I need a beach. I need a quiet, peaceful beach.

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

I’ve said it before but coming from a family of amazing singers and top tier cooks, live music and trendy restaurants (and live music AT trendy restaurants!) are hard to enjoy

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

@simmiehendrxx Tanked is insane

[𝓓𝓸𝓬_𝔃𝓮𝓮 ✧ @doc_zee7]

Me refusing to sleep because i didn't get enough time to feel like human after work

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

Currently drinking beer, watching 2022 World Cup re-runs, and crocheting a blanket 🙂

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

Not my old boss on LinkedIn looking for a job, you got sick of them too? 😭

[Jeremy @jeremyct]

My dad retired at 59

I will not

He had a pension. I have a 401k I can barely fund.

He bought his house at 28.
I can't touch a down payment at 30.
He paid $90 a month for health insurance. I pay $430.

At dinner he told me I need to be smarter with money.
I nodded.

Didn't tell him his entire life was built on an economy that no longer exists.

Didn't tell him my generation is paying for his Social Security while ours gets gutted.

Didn't tell him the ladder he climbed got pulled up right after him.

Just passed the potatoes.

Make it make sense

[ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇ @justprince]

run ts back, i’ve made my own money now

[Acyn @Acyn]

AOC: This is what drinking water in Georgia looks like after Meta began data center construction in the community.

[blaine the conqueror  @IAMZENAS]

Being single sucks when you’re sick or injured. Somebody come take care of me

[Drebae @Drebae_]

"I don't know any LGBTQ people!"

Yes you do actually. They're just not safe around you.

[🦅 @JayZ0verrat3d]

they in them warehouses with WHIPS & CHAINS

[kujostoevsky @goldntimelover]

New Year’s eve listed as the last holiday of the year