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Active Captain

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PRIVATE TELEGRAM 🔓
https://t.co/P6nQDREHh9

Everything they don't post anywhere else.
https://t.co/P6nQDREHh9

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https://t.co/dcaqS9pQ1Q

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#teenagee

#monkeyapp

#momson

#nolimit

spicy version in https://t.co/980Ddya41j

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#teenagee

#monkeyapp

#momson

#nolimit

spicy version in https://t.co/EjOdzi6Y3Q

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@seanseaevans, we're in so much pain. If you weren't already my hero, you are now. Respect.

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@PrezOno (n.) - (pezz-Oh-no) : literally the coolest.

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"We ARE looking at the past?" Pack it up, Bill Nye wins this debate. #creationdebate

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Kathryn: Please don't sing...
Me: But what about Tommy?
K: Who's Tommy?
Me: I'm glad you asked. TOMMY USED TO WORK ON THE DOCKS!!!

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I had to get up and wake my neighbor up because he was sleeping through his alarm... And I couldn't. #Seriously? #FixThat

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If your president hasn't crowd surfed from bottom to top of your football stadium, you definitely don't go to the #HottestCollegeInAmerica.

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Today was the second time a doctor has "caught" me playing computer games and stayed to watch. #NBD #HottestCollegeInAmerica

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Shiksa : (n.) Basically, if Judaism was magic, shiksas would be muggles.
#HappyHanukka

[Santa J. Ono @PrezOno]

Time to start voting for your favorite #BeSafeUC image! Congrats to all who made the top 10! http://t.co/QIQojDD1ki

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My chest hair naturally grows in the shape of the Batman symbol. I think I'm the Chosen One.

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"Marketing online is the business major of the business majors."

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If your President didn't turn 51 today, you're not at the #HottestCollegeInAmerica

Happy Birthday @PrezOno! Can't thank you enough.

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I like to pick out random strangers and imagine what they look like when they jam out to Eye of the Tiger. #YouKnowTheyDo

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Things to remember next exam:
1. Bubble in the test version.
2. Actually bubble in, not just circle the actual answers.
#OhDear #Oops