Ian Kinney

I’m a writer, and I run a small non-profit publishing company alongside a free library / used bookstore.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

Instagram on Valentine’s Day is so annoying it made me rejoin Twitter.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

This app sucks now. It used to be so much fun. I got to meet so many cool people on it. It led to me getting so many awesome opportunities. And I’m so grateful for everything and everyone that made me feel good about myself on here over the years. But it sucks now. Bye.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

I think I anxieted myself into being sick.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

Man, I accidentally discovered someone has been lying to me about something for a while now, and I’m just gonna pretend I still don’t know, because that seems way easier than confronting them about why they thought they needed to.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

@LisaBana3 Thanks for the donation! Truly appreciated.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

When your small town book festival is one of the low-key coolest little events in the entire world.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

Do you guys ever drive to a different town to do your grocery shopping just so you don’t have to deal with seeing 75 different people you know in order to buy cat food?

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

My phone is down to 6% battery, and I think I’m just gonna put it out of its misery. If anyone needs me for the remainder of the night, do me a favor and just like release a bunch of Chinese lanterns into the sky, and like if I see them, I’ll try to track you down or whatever.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

I was just on the receiving end of a surprise 11pm custard delivery, and it just quite honestly makes me feel like the luckiest dude in the entire world.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

Just walked through a garden festival without taking allergy medicine first and my eyes haven’t teared up that much since my last therapy session.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

I counted and there are 42 people in front of me in the line for custard right now.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

Listen, guys, I’m obviously not saying we should kill every bird in the entire world but do we really need the fucking loud ones?

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

Happy Pride Month, you guys. It’s like I always say: Gay sex is similar to adderall. I’m not really into it these days, but I never would’ve gotten through college without it.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

Nothing inflates my ego quite like having one of the busiest people in Hollywood respond to my email in under 3 minutes.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

My life would be so much easier if everyone who stopped to talk to me was wearing a name tag.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

People should only be allowed to mow their lawn on non-open-window days.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

@nickmanz719 Make a good raffle prize…

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

I love blaming stuff on my allergies this time of year and not just my terrible sleep schedule, questionable diet, and limited physical exercise. Like, man, I kinda feel like shit today. God damn pollen.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

I hate trying to choose between hot and iced coffee this time of year. It’s like do I wanna drink it too fast or not fast enough?

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

I forgot how hard it is to work inside when it’s nice outside.

[Ian Kinney @IanKinney]

The secret to always being on time is to just constantly suffer from crippling anxiety about being late.