LiamNelson

Hey miss money pussy wanna hop on my jetpack

[LiamNelson @IBeLiam]

@Chanteezzyyy ur tweets have me rollin

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

i will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti, and a future archaelogist will have have one awesome day at work

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

i'm pretty sure that my really cute next door neighbot thinks im a stalkre. She wrote it on facebook, twitter, and even in her diarie

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Today i bought a pack of nuts. On the packet it said WARNING MAY CONTAIN NUTS''. well i'd be disappointed if i opened it and a sock fell out

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Hell Yeah Home alone! :D
Expectation: Parttty!!! (:
Reality: peeing with the door open.

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

i opened my laptop today and there was a giant crack on the screen.

I'm always forgetting to close the porn tab...

[Chloe Lipton @ChloeKilla]

whenever im doing somthing stupid i always imagine how they would narrate my death on 1000 ways to die

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

i wonder how long it takes a giraffe to throw up

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Im very suspicious about joggers.. they're always the ones gettin all the bodies

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Screw you recommending serving size. You dont know me

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

A fun thing to do in the checkout like is to take on thing from the cart in front of you and see if they notice. Last week i took a baby.

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

when the space shuttle gets back from it last mission wouldnt it bee funny if we all dressed as apes

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

do you like water?
yes?
good, you already like 72% of me :D

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Twinkle twinkle little whore relationships involve 2 not 4

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

i hate when i gently toss my phone onto my bed and it decisdes to richoche off 3 walls knock over a lamp and hit a cat

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Never under estimate a girls ability to find out things ;p

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Yesterday my friend posted that he has finally reached 1000 friends. so i deleted him lol

[LiamNelson @IBeLiam]

your heart is not broken if it was you would be dead so shut up! -DanielTosh